March 18, 2010 at 10:14 am 8 comments

Officials at a gated community in Florida are turning away guests of residents who are behind on their HOA fees.


Security guards at Stoneybrook West have stopped resident Melissa Solis’ friends, family, babysitter and even the delivery man from Winter Garden Pizza Co. from getting to her home.
::: NOT the pizza guy?!? :::

They wouldn’t even allow her mother-in-law inside the gates for a family birthday party.


“It’s very embarrassing for our daughter. She’s 10 years old, and she doesn’t understand that the economy is tight and Daddy doesn’t have a job.”


With the economy at a seemingly-permanent standstill, you breadliners all know the score.
Less coming in = less going out … for everyone … including the evil HOA overlords.

AGGRESS … wait. What?

Delinquency rates are skyrocketing so a lot of Home Owner’s Associations are forced – FORCED I SAY – to go all Stonybrook on residents’ asses and lower the boom … which would be cool and all, ‘cept there’s just one problem.
Ya can’t get blood from a stone, ho’s!


And that is why lawmakers are considering a buncha bills designed to ease the financial strains between homeowner and association.


One such bill would allow associations to suspend residents from using common areas if they are three months or more behind paying fees. It also empowers associations to collect fees from renters, and prohibits association members from serving on the board if they are three months delinquent.


“These homeowner associations are crippled, and they’re looking for any kind of edge,” said Sarasota lawyer David Muller, co-executive director of the Community Association Leadership Lobby, which represents more than 4,000 associations. “But actually preventing a guest from accessing the gates — that’s something that’s going a little too far, in my opinion and when concerning the statutes.”



Entry filed under: blogging, community, culture, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, government, humor, life, neighborhood, reporting, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , .

Bloody Good Show Don’t worry ladies – he’ll be here all night!


  • 1. sprindaddy  |  March 18, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    Don’t blockade the Pizza dude!!

    The glories of HOA hell.

  • 2. saratoday  |  March 18, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    It’s their own damn fault for living behind a gate. Oh, you mean this GATE can be used to keep people OUT?

    • 3. writechic  |  March 18, 2010 at 6:11 pm

      Okay, that’s kinda funny. Mean, but funny.

      • 4. saratoday  |  March 18, 2010 at 8:31 pm

        That might be a fair description of me in general. I try to hide the mean part but it doesn’t always work.

  • 5. Ric  |  March 18, 2010 at 11:41 pm

    Housing Nazis! Children of the Soup Nazi!

    Does anyone else think the country is getting uglier and more dangerous? Or am I once again standing out there on the edge of my mind, hallucinating reality, or realizing hallucinations.

    I’m sure I have no idea what I’m on about now. Sheesh!

  • 6. thecookie  |  March 19, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    You’re both right — it is their own fault (I think gated communities are symptomatic of many other issues the people living in them have going on … well, some of them!)

    And yes, I do see an ugly trend happening lately. 😦

  • 7. Ponchita  |  March 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Well, I wish someone would lower our freaking HOA rates! LOL We don’t have shit out here that constitutes $700 year. Our HOA association will lock you out of the pool/tennis courts if you don’t pay up on time…but that’s about it. I know if you go too far behind, they can put a lien on your house until you pay up. Saw a lady on the news one night who was almost 80 and was being threatened with foreclosure over her dues (not in our neighborhood, but another in Houston). Anyway – she had the carbon copy of her check to prove she had written it, come to find out, it had gotten lost thanks to the wonderful USPS and everything was fine in the end.

    I fucking hate HOA’s and their dumbass fees…but I guess if it keeps retard neighbors from keeping cars on blocks in their driveways, so be it.

    This place has gone a little too far though keeping visitors out.

  • 8. thecookie  |  March 26, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    I agree — we’re lucky with ours that the fees aren’t outrageous ($700 a year?!?!?) and I do remember where we lived without one and the guy across the street had a back yard (thankfully fenced) FULL of old junker cars he liked to tinker with … every Hurricane Season I was sure one of those bad boys was going to end up on my roof!

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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