February 8, 2010 at 11:22 am 6 comments

I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or be so afraid I soil myself — but I think the smart money is on an all-out crying jag complete with full-blown conniption in the middle of my cul-de-sac for all the world street to see.


I …
I …
Oh god, I can’t even say!



OK, there. I said it.


How did this happen?
How could this happen?
Did I drink too much specially spiked Cookie Kool-Aid during the Super Bowl?
Did I consume something so spicy it rendered me completely clueless – even during my R.E.M cycle?

I’ve been giving myself the third-degree all day!
I just don’t know!

But there I was, in my dream, looking over a proposed redistricting map of Palm Beach County working up a good rage over the scheme.
In the room were several political figures, including Charlie Crist (who I know good and well why I wasn’t propped to bump fuglies with *wink wink*) and John McCain.
I’m looking at the map, gettin’ my ‘You bastards will never get away with this’ ‘tude when all of a sudden Big Mac is behind me and … well, peepaw is 100% proppin’ me and EWWWWWW!!!!!!!

I …
I …
I can’t go on!
What does it mean?!

Republicans are raping America? Fucking us where we stand with our pants on?!

That’s got to be it, right?


You have to tell me that’s right because otherwise I’d be afraid it meant something vomitus extremus and I’d worry I’d have to turn in my bleeding-heart liberal commie pinko card, which I will never surrender willingly!

Oh please – someone help me — is there some magic elixir out there I can use to wipe clear the apparent and thoroughly twisted corners of my sick, sick mind?
If so, take pity and help a sister out – email that fix to mmmm.lifeisacookie@gmail.com


Entry filed under: blogging, celebrity, comedy, culture, election, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, humor, John McCain, life, neighborhood, News, odd, Politics, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Ridonkulously Retardified!!! Legacy Schmegacy


  • 1. 0whole1  |  February 8, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    If it makes you feel better, I once had a dream about robots — and I’m completely sure I don’t like robots that way.

    Well, reasonably sure.

    Mostly sure.

    …oh god…

  • 2. thecookie  |  February 8, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    That made me laugh — which I needed!! Can we consider Big Mac a robot???

    • 3. 0whole1  |  February 8, 2010 at 7:35 pm

      • 4. lifeisacookie  |  February 8, 2010 at 9:19 pm

        Oooo — Scott Bakulaaaaahhhhhhhh!

  • 5. GreenEydGrrl  |  February 8, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    ewwwwwwwwwwwww cookie….I dont think I’ll ever look at you the same!

  • 6. lifeisacookie  |  February 8, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    I know!!!! The shame of it!!!

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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