All the SNOOZE!

December 24, 2009 at 11:23 am 1 comment


Having grown up there, I always thought the quaint little nugget of nowheresville that is Sterrett, Alabama was the galaxial podunk capital of NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

I was wrong.

Athens, Georgia is clearly the nothinggoingonest place in the known celestial realm because there is 100% zero happening in that hamlet.

All the proof you need is the big news happening there this week.

Christmas all but destroyed by the crappy economy?
Nope

The ongoing fight to get a clear Health Care Bill put on the table?
HAHA! Not hardly

Job prospects for 2010?
NEGATORY!!!

Athensonians (I’m guessing that’s what they call themselves) were all ‘wow’ (I’m guessing that’s how they do ‘excited’ in Athens) over some ho who destroyed more than $1,0000 worth of perfume after being told she couldn’t make returns without a receipt.
When they say you better show paper, the bitches at Joy Joy Beauty ain’t PLAYIN’!

But Dorothy Doesn’twantitanymore wasn’t having any of that mess so she pushed over a big ol’ display stand on which were perched hundreds of $3.50 sample-size bottles of perfume. The stand broke and every bottle of perfume smashed against the floor as the woman stormed out of the store and drove away in a green van.

OH THE OUTRAGE!
OH THE INJUSTICE!!

OH WHATEVER!!!

It’s not like she made a five-finger discount on a cruet of Cabochard Baccarat!!

Those were probably just a bargain basement bunch of Designer Imposter ‘parfums’ whose 99.99999% alcohol content cleaned the floor of that fine establishment faster than Kirstie Alley can suck down a 5-gallon drum of Ben & Jerry’s Brownie Batter!
They should be happy! One less chore at closing time!
::: Normally a fucktard like that would be our Dumb Bitch of the Day, but since her stupidity led to a solid so close to Christmas, we’re giving her a pass. 😛 :::

What’s next, Athenst?
7th grader passes geography test?!?

Eh, well, on second thought – that might actually be a bona fide headline if that kid’s an Athens public schooler …

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Entry filed under: blogging, comedy, crime, culture, fun, funny, Gossip, humor, life, News, odd. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

Dumb Bitch of the Day Merry Merry, Bitches!

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