Cheating just got easier (to prove)

December 22, 2009 at 11:26 am 6 comments


Social media is the worst thing ever created in the history of all histories and you should totally freak your shit over it because — before it kills you 20 kinds of dead — it’ll fuck your spouse, eff your biz and just flat out ruin your life.

Yuh huh! Will so!!
Bona fide RESEARCH proves it!!!

See, some schmoe from some divorce website heard that social sites like Facebook are really just all about sexy chatty times and were, therefore, a fundamental factor in the fragmentation of marital unions all over the gat damned place, so he put on his ‘how can I use this to get free publicity for my website’ hat and got all probey!
::: It’s not their fault!! The INTERWEBS made them cheat!!! :::

Divorce-Online’s Mark Keenan scanned the his company’s database for the word “Facebook” and found 989 instances of the word in 5,000 petitions.


“I was really surprised to see 20 percent of all the petitions containing references to Facebook,” said Keenan, who clearly just fell off the turnip truck this morning.


Other social networking sites, including MySpace, Bebo and Twitter, also featured heavily in the sample of 5,000 divorce papers studied.


And just what lewd labors came to light over the social networking landscape?
::: HINT: Answer graph three … :::

“The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to.”

Inappropriate sexual chats.
Inappropriate sexual chats?!

I have that in my Bag O’ Get The Best Treadmill At The Gym Tricks!
::: Because it’s the only way to get Mr. Overmuscled Roidhead Assmaster off my machine! :::

I have that in my How To Make The Tightass At Work Nervous Handbook!!
::: Because, oh who are we kidding? That shit’s just fucking funny is why! :::

I have that in my Ways To Get Mr. Cookie To Do … oh wait … we’re married, that doesn’t count.
::: #17! #17!!!!! :::

But whatever!
Inappropriate sexual chats.
Uh huh, sure … I’m all … meh …

Where’s the porn?
The passionless partners?
The innate penchant for hanky panky???

Has social media also killed those time-tested requisite exercises in infidelity?!?

I don’t know … but I DO know that Mr. Divorce Website’s serious scientifical researchification proves one thing: Cheaters better check it before they wreck it because these days dirty chat’s all you need to claim they’ve done the deed.

But, hey, turn those frowns upside down all you sadder but wiser spouses out there!
There IS  a bright side!
Writechic has found the perfect gift for YOU!


Entry filed under: blogging, culture, divorce, entertainment, family, fun, funny, Gossip, humor, life, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

PSA Alert! Dumb Bitch of the Day


  • 1. writechic  |  December 22, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    Hmmm. So in cyber cheating, Trojan is bad; whereas, in old school cheating, Trojan is good. However, In e-adultery and old-fashioned extra-marital fuckery virus is very, very bad.

    I’ll never keep up. 😉

  • 2. thecookie  |  December 22, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    That was AWESOME, WC!

  • 3. writechic  |  December 22, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    Trading STDs for PHP’s can’t be all bad.

  • 4. thecookie  |  December 22, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    haha! STOP — you’re too good at this!

  • 5. writechic  |  December 22, 2009 at 8:45 pm


  • 6. JSin  |  December 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    Very interesting & informative post. I liked it. Thanks for sharing!

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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