Droll Tide

December 18, 2009 at 11:58 am 4 comments

It comes as no surprise to anyone who has even the remotest passing knowledge of The Cookie that Auburn Football is the absolute and complete love of my life.
::: It’s ok – Mr. Cookie has learned to deal. :::

And even knowing that about me, the peeps here in Florida think I’m joking when I tell them nothing – and I DO mean nothing – is more important to people from the state of Alabama than almighty football.

Which is why – despite the fact that it centers around the hated, The Despised, THE DEVIL’S SPAWN that is the Alabama Crimson Tide – I am totally down with the following and don’t find it at all ridicutarded.

Lawyers representing the defendant in an accidental death case — a case that has taken four years to come to trial — asked the judge to delay the trial because it conflicts with the Alabama-Texas BCS title game on January 7.

And judge sez?
::: Whaaat?!? It IS the championship game! :::

Attorney Jon Terry argued in his motion for delay that the trial was scheduled “before certain monumental events occurred,” that some attorneys have tickets to the game, that jurors are likely to be preoccupied and that opposing attorneys went to Auburn.
::: Monumental … you know, like barely beating Auburn in the final minutes after having your Heisman hero being held to less than one yard per carry by my beloved Tigers in the heartbreak game of the year … uh huh sure, but whatever … :::

“ROLL TIDE!!” the motion concludes.

Circuit Judge Dan King, anย Auburn alumnus, said he planned to grant the motion.

“If I didn’t, they’d say, ‘He just didn’t grant it because he’s an Auburn fellow,'” he said. “I wouldn’t do that to ’em.”

Shockingly – plaintiffs attorneys have a problem with this!
::: must be grouchy Gator grads … :::

In a motion filed Thursday morning they argued that the trial should begin as scheduled.
“Simply stated, some things are more important than football,” the motion said.


Judge Scott Vowell, the presiding judge in Jefferson County and also an Auburn alumnus [we DO rule!], said he’d never before seen a motion that requested a continuance because of a football game but gave the Tiders mad props for coming clean.

“There’s been some motions for continuances and I’ve suspected what the real reason was,” he said. “But this is the first one I’ve seen that was this honest and candid about the reason.”

Judge King, who had not yet issued a formal order late Thursday, said he would reschedule the trial to begin in a month or two.

Bama — ballsy on the field … and off!


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Butt … wait! And the Wholly Hypocritical Award goes to …


  • 1. writechic  |  December 20, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    They should have just brought in a big screen to the court and held sessions during TV timeouts and halftime. Duh.

  • 2. thecookie  |  December 20, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    Well, that sounds good but I can attest to the fact that I can concentrate on nothing else when Auburn is in play. I take no calls, I make no calls, I do nothing but watch, pace, swear and annoy the everloving shiat out of anyone within earshot.

    It’s bad. Some might call it a sickness.
    My guess is the judge didn’t want to hear MOTHERFUCKER!!! over and over … but that’s just a guess ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • 3. writechic  |  December 20, 2009 at 11:36 pm

      In Alabama, the judge would be saying MOTHERFUCKER. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  December 21, 2009 at 11:26 am

    HAHAHA — You are so right, Writechic!

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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