The Fuggie

December 10, 2009 at 2:59 am 6 comments


Come ON America!

You can do better than this!!

The country that rightly celebrates the majesty of college football, the moxie of manipulations to electoral process and the mastery of military might canNOT be the same country that has so clearly sunk to subterranean sickness by making that wretched remnant we all know as the Snuggie(TM) the number one holiday gift this year.

And yet *sigh* it is.

“The product’s fun, useful nature combined with its affordable price make the Snuggie(TM) blanket the perfect holiday gift,” blah blah’d Anne Flynn – Allstar Products Group’s HBIC of Marketing.

So perfect, in fact, that shoppers are being warned – WARNED I SAY – to rush rush and slap their cash monies down on the fug rug no later than December 11 [THAT’S TOMORROW BITCHES!!!] if you really want to insult Aunt Kay properly on Christmas morning.

Oh but don’t worry fellas, Allstar hasn’t cut YOU out of the gotta have it category when it comes to this grotesque garmant. No sir!

In the wake of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, some new Snuggie(TM) styles and colors are selling out quickly, PR Newswire reports. To keep up with the high consumer demand, Allstar has introduced even more eye-offending prints and colors including:
Camouflage!
::: perfect for tree-stand snuggle times :::

Tie Dye!
::: great when the ganga’s too strong :::

And Black and Purple!
::: wonderf … wait – they didn’t offer that shit originally?! ACK! :::

So if you are one of the apparent millions of Americans with no style, taste or creativity this holiday season, get your orders in NOW because nearly all of the current Snuggie(TM) colors and designs will be discontinued after this season.
::: Oh thank God … there IS a Santa Claus! :::

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You see it … Much a hue about nothing

6 Comments

  • 1. writechic  |  December 10, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Sorry. I just can’t sit around the house looking like a candidate for the Heaven’s Gate cult. Can’t do it.

  • 2. Type Writer  |  December 10, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    Well, how about your dog then? They do make a Snuggie (TM) for dogs 🙂

    TW

  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  December 12, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    HAHA!

  • 4. Merry Merry, Bitches! « Life Is A Cookie  |  December 25, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    […] hoping we all got exactly what we deserved desired ::: … and hoping it wasn’t one of these shittin’ things! […]

  • 5. Wednesday WTF « Life Is A Cookie  |  March 3, 2010 at 11:16 am

    […] – anything that makes The Fuggie look like a good idea – should be universally outlawed on principle […]

  • 6. Why Cleveland, WHY?! « Life Is A Cookie  |  March 8, 2010 at 11:01 am

    […] Frealz, Cleveland! You have a golden opportunity to do something great, to be legendary, to make history … and you go with The Fuggie?!? […]


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