Hey, uhh, you know I’m all ‘my bad’ and suchlike that LIAC was a big ol’ bucket o’ NUTHIN’ yesterday but I have been super busy attempting to concoct my very own ‘I fucked Tiger’ story to have had even just the tiniest smidge of available time to help you get your hee hee on.
But, frealz, there is no way this trainwreck is leaving the station without yours truly choo-chooing her way on board!
RadarOnline.com is reporting that women everywhere are crawling out of the woodwork with claims of clandestine canoodling, salacious seductions and sneaky sexty-times with the master of match play and, well, who are we kidding?! If there is gonna be a poontang powwow, the Cookie’s gonna wanna be a part of it!
And I sooo could!
I mean, have you seen the bitches he’s supposed to have been banging?
They are flat-out BARKERS, yo!
Oh sure, dude doesn’t know me from dick, but from the looks of these skanks it’s fair to say anyone could play a round with the Stanford seducer!
Even the fuggest of femmes could be the ninth hole.
Does it matter that I’ve never met him?
Does it matter that this nasty mess is first and only thing I’ve ever found even remotely interesting about him?
This is a juicy, gossipy free-for-all and I won’t be denied!
And now that I’ve devised my evil plan, I just have to haul my hot cross buns up to Jupiter Island, finagle my fanny into Windemere, charm the security chief, break into his bunker, take some sexy snaps and fame and whoretune are mine!!!!
Well, either that or I could just have a cocktail … all this plotting and planning, deceit and trickery is exhausting!
How does Tiger do it?! 😉
Entry filed under: blogging, celebrity, culture, family, Gossip, life, media, neighborhood, News, odd, Sports, Uncategorized. Tags: affair, cheat, elin woods, golf, mistress, News, people, philander, random, sad, thoughts, tiger woods, unfaithful.