December 3, 2009 at 1:32 pm 3 comments

Hey, uhh, you know I’m all ‘my bad’ and suchlike that LIAC was a big ol’ bucket o’ NUTHIN’ yesterday but I have been super busy attempting to concoct my very own ‘I fucked Tiger’ story to have had even just the tiniest smidge of available time to help you get your hee hee on.


But, frealz, there is no way this trainwreck is leaving the station without yours truly choo-chooing her way on board! is reporting that women everywhere are crawling out of the woodwork with claims of clandestine canoodling, salacious seductions and sneaky sexty-times with the master of match play and, well, who are we kidding?! If there is gonna be a poontang powwow, the Cookie’s gonna wanna be a part of it!

And I sooo could!
I mean, have you seen the bitches he’s supposed to have been banging?
They are flat-out BARKERS, yo!
Bow. Wow.

Oh sure, dude doesn’t know me from dick, but from the looks of these skanks it’s fair to say anyone could play a round with the Stanford seducer!
Even the fuggest of femmes could be the ninth hole.

Does it matter that I’ve never met him?

Does it matter that I’ve never even so much as breathed the same air as him?
Uh uh.

Does it matter that this nasty mess is first and only thing I’ve ever found even remotely interesting about him?

This is a juicy, gossipy free-for-all and I won’t be denied!

And now that I’ve devised my evil plan, I just have to haul my hot cross buns up to Jupiter Island, finagle my fanny into Windemere, charm the security chief, break into his bunker, take some sexy snaps and fame and whoretune are mine!!!!

Well, either that or I could just have a cocktail … all this plotting and planning, deceit and trickery is exhausting!
How does Tiger do it?! 😉


Entry filed under: blogging, celebrity, culture, family, Gossip, life, media, neighborhood, News, odd, Sports, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

¡ bueno está ! Because I’m three …


  • 1. writechic  |  December 5, 2009 at 6:18 pm

    Good luck, Cookie! That little school girl skirt of yours is a convincing brand of kinky for Tiger’s sexcapades. 🙂

    (Bitches-Coming-Out-of-the Woodwork Day was a gem. Elin must be sick to her stomach though. It’s demoralizing believing lies from someone you’re supposed to be able to trust.)

  • 2. writechic  |  December 5, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    A new one:

  • 3. thecookie  |  December 5, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    exactly — and to have those lies be put on display for the entire world — awful!!

This is the shit you bitches are reading

Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.

%d bloggers like this: