I don’t blame you, Frank Zappa

November 23, 2009 at 12:41 pm 31 comments


As long as we’re talkin’ ’bout words’n-all, I think serious consideration should be given to liquidating the word ‘like’ from the English language.

FREALZ!

Because that bitch is as flexible as a Sarah Palin book-tour schedule, itย can be used as a noun, a verb, an adverb, an adjective, a piece of punctuation, a preposition, a particle, a conjunction or interjection!
::: multitasker extaordinaire!! :::

And I’m totally down with all applications – until it comes to the punctuation, particle and conjunction part because those are peeves (in addition to whether or not – stopitstopitstopit!) that drive me seven full Mack truckloads of batshit crazy.

It is, like, SOOOOOO upsetting, you know? I mean, do you, like, get my, like, point?

Ugh.

But in all seriousness (and pay attention, ‘cuz we don’t do that often here at LIAC) – it’s got to stop.

Because, when you get right down to it, overusing the word ‘like’ is the same as faking your tan, artificially pumping your pucker (or other parts ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) or bulking up your brats with boatloads ofย rusk, excess fibers, maltodextrine or MDM.

IT”S FILLER, FOLKS!
::: just say no :::

When their whiteness is too white, the pigment deficient think nothing of full-on fakery.
::: fake what’cha mamma gave ya! :::
When their lips (or butt, boobs or fun-time banana) aren’t exactly luscious, folks don’t think twice about some strategic surgical servicing.
::: New math: You + phony = putzling :::
And when the food industry wants to maximize profits by minimizing the merit and naturalness (yeah, I said it) of their products, they stuff their stock with whatever will lengthen its shelf-life.
::: caveat emptor, kiddies :::

Like is, like, no different.

Because people can’t think of don’t know the right words anymore – because zero significance has been placed on the enormous importance of appropriate word choice – they’ve leached onto ‘like’ and haven’t let go.

But it’s time to read a fucking dictionary, dickweeeds!.
As much as we encourage the silly and stupid, alliterative linguistic logorrhea, asshattery, fucktardeness and all things scientifical – this one we’re serious about.

Like, totally.

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Entry filed under: blogging, community, culture, education, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, humor, life, media, neighborhood, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

Idiots on the air I’m all ‘huh?!’

31 Comments

  • 1. Pretty Project  |  November 23, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    This is, like, the funniest post I’ve read in a while. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    http://www.theprettyproject.com

  • 2. FrancesBean  |  November 23, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    It’s like. totally, like an addiction, like, seriously, like, what don’t you like, get about that.

    • 3. writechic  |  November 23, 2009 at 9:49 pm

      Totally.

  • 4. August  |  November 23, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    there are a lot of other idiomatic words that get on my tits as well.
    LIKE: “Really”, “Basically” and “Hopefully”
    and other sudo-intellectual replacements for “like” such as:
    “In Terms Of” and “As Far As”.
    These are all conditions of “Mouth keeps moving before Brain catches up” syndrome.

    • 5. Mike  |  November 23, 2009 at 5:40 pm

      It’s pseudo, not “sudo.” (Ironic that you mention intellect.)

      Also, commas must be placed within quotations, for American style. If you’re a Brit, you’re absolved.

      Please avoid attempting to school unless you’re schooled.

    • 6. writechic  |  November 23, 2009 at 9:53 pm

      “Interesting” bugs me because it’s too ambivalent. Does the person mean interesting like ZOWIE!!!! or interesting as in “you’re the biggest fucktard to ever suck wind.”

      I want to know.

      • 7. lifeisacookie  |  November 23, 2009 at 10:13 pm

        good point … iiiiinteresting! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • 8. Mike  |  November 24, 2009 at 3:44 pm

        The word is also ambiguous. For example (and mixed with other communicative annoyances):

        “Like, in my opinion…I think that, well, you know, uhh, it’s interesting and stuff.”

        The response to this idiocy must always be, “No, I don’t know.”

  • 9. saratoday  |  November 23, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Hey cool – you’re, like, on the front page. Neato.

  • 10. Noni  |  November 23, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    Mike — get the irony dude. Come into the light.

  • 11. Thomas Stazyk  |  November 23, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    A like totally awesome post, man.

  • 12. thecookie  |  November 23, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    like WOW! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • 13. fallingnotflying  |  November 23, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    So then I’m like, and he’s like, and we’re like omg, like.

  • 14. softballgirl78  |  November 23, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    I very much agree with this post. I am guilty of saying “like” as a filler, but this article has re-inspired me to try and kick the habit.

  • 15. loosefemme  |  November 23, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    Acutally, I DO blame Frank Zappa, he TOTALLY started it, along with all that other Val-speak. Like, totally. And Frank WAS a f-ing genius. Oh, my gawd!

  • 16. tuan tanah  |  November 23, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Like, I like this post ๐Ÿ™‚

  • 17. Mike Nomad  |  November 24, 2009 at 12:23 am

    Good thing you don’t blame Frank: Moon’s ‘lyrics’ were all conversation fragments she heard from her friends. If you cre to get more of the story, the birth of “Valley Girl” is covered in The Real Frank Zappa Book.

    Also, there’s a little more coverage in the EPK, which I believe is included as bonus material on the Dub Room Special DVD.

    Totally Gagging With A Spoon,

    Mike

  • 18. uberVU - social comments  |  November 24, 2009 at 3:00 am

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by muggle1: I was like totally bummed when I like saw this: http://bit.ly/729Csp

  • 19. merempit84  |  November 24, 2009 at 6:26 am

    who is this?i am not looking for u.

  • 20. the faltese malcon  |  November 24, 2009 at 9:21 am

    I blame, like, Keanu Reeves. Oh, and LIAC almost sounds like “like”, like, when you read it… “LIAC” – “like” – it really does! :]

    • 21. lifeisacookie  |  November 24, 2009 at 11:16 am

      OMG — like you are sooooo right, faltese! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      • 22. the faltese malcon  |  November 24, 2009 at 11:43 am

        And people on ludes should not, like, drive!

  • 23. blackwatertown  |  November 24, 2009 at 10:09 am

    Like it. Surely it’s worth a constitutional amendment.

  • 24. tttt  |  November 24, 2009 at 10:31 am

    test cpmment

  • 25. yeild  |  November 24, 2009 at 10:34 am

    check it

  • 26. fff  |  November 24, 2009 at 10:34 am

    check it babed

  • 27. Arness.Ovine  |  November 24, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    Like.. is… I just follow my friend.. ๐Ÿ˜†

    Check it.. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • 28. Type Writer  |  November 25, 2009 at 5:42 am

    This is the most amount of comments with the least amount of content for any of your posts, Cookie ๐Ÿ™‚

    TW

  • 29. thecookie  |  November 25, 2009 at 10:54 am

    hehe — you noticed that, did you my friend? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • 30. saveajunebug  |  November 30, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    LOL love this

  • 31. Mike  |  September 5, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    Nice post, please do post more such posts!



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