It’s Monday and that means there’s bad shit [Pennsylvania gym shooter] and sad shit [Hudson River crash] and funny shit [Dairy Queen milkshake beatdown] and weird shit [Kurtis Blow is AARP eligible] and stupid shit [mass freak-out over Twitter outage] and, well, SHIT is going on out there, people!
But do I care?
HELL TO THE NO!
Any why is that?
BECAUSE FOOTBALL IS BACK, BITCHES!!!!!!
I mean, I’m sorry it turns out that OxiClean wasn’t the only white powder Billy Mays liked and I sure hope Eunice Kennedy Shriver doesn’t die and all, but I spend months each year trying to neutralize my need for the gods of the gridiron by consuming news like last night’s Merlot and scouring all sources for anything football.
I have The Replacements on a continuous loop in my DVD player; I slum it and watch the Canadians (and damnit! I really thought Saskatchewan was gonna do it this season) … fuck! I even TiVo past-season Gator and ‘Nole games off The Sunshine Network!!
My off-season desperation knows no limits!
But the dark days are all behind me now.
The first preseason game of the 2009-2010 NFL season is in the books and the wait for college has been whittled to mere weeks.
And if Auburn could just pick a motherfuckGeneChizikmakeadecisionalready starting QB — all would be 100% right with the MY world …
Entry filed under: blogging, entertainment, funny, Gossip, humor, life, media, News, odd, Sports, Uncategorized. Tags: Auburn, Buffalo Bills, college, football, funny, need, NFL, people, random, silly, stupid, tennessee titans, The Replacements movie, thoughts.