Dumbass(es) Of The Day

August 7, 2009 at 3:40 pm 7 comments

… and the award goes to …
The crackerjack ‘search squad’ at the Houston City Jail AND the Harris County Jail!


These dynamos had a nearly 600-pound man in custody for more than a fattyday — putting him through all the routine intake rigamaroll and had him lumbering toward the showers when Orca decided to get his disclosure on about a handgun and some ammo he’d been keeping nice and warm in the folds of his corpulent carcass.
::: Someone wasn’t ready for that jelly! :::

“If a person has a weapon, narcotics, anything of danger, it should have been found before he winds up in the county jail,” former Harris County Detention Major Mark Kellar said. “Obviously the system broke down.”

Ya think?!?

But Houston Police Officers Union President Gary Blankinship was all ‘Not so fast, Blamey McBlamerson!’ as he alibied that, although officer are trained to “lift up and look under”, “The officer may not cavityserachhave arrested anyone this big before.”
::: May I suggest some light reading??? :::

“They can be so big, basically short of strip searching or searching cavities, they could miss something like this,” he said …

Oh. Ok.
I get it.
I didn’t know about the whole ‘Do Your Job … Unless He’s a Disgusting Lardass’ exclusionionary clause to the ‘Jail Intake Procedure’ manual.
My bad!


Guys? Seriously?
It’s 2009. Embrace the new milennium and get a fucking X-ray machine already!

I can’t keep giving you these tips for free!

Hat-tip to Springdaddy for this gem! 😉


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Alabama could you PLEASE make news for something positive?!? Finally! Football.


  • 1. writechic  |  August 8, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Damn it, Cookie! I was just about to do this, when I thought…Cookie?

    Personally, I would have hid the piece under that fat roll covering his piece. You know nobody wants to go there!

    Fatty make a funny. 🙂

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  August 9, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Yuo have to give Springdaddy all the credit on passing this one to me … and speaking of passing … THE FIRST PRESEASON NFL GAME IS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!


    • 3. writechic  |  August 9, 2009 at 11:16 pm

      Okay. A phrase you’ll never hear in the South, “I don’t have a favorite football team.” 😉

      I still love the Saints. No laughing.

      (and mucho kudos springdaddy!)

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  August 10, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    I might have giggled a little …

  • 5. springdaddy  |  August 11, 2009 at 1:08 am

    Yikes! Meat Mcmagnum man made it through the “pat” down…Uh, rub, uh crevous peakaboo.

    What a stellar idea Cookie.! ding, you win the out of the box thinking game. Now let’a all get together at your place for pre-game and have some cajun food for the Saint’s

    • 6. writechic  |  August 11, 2009 at 8:57 pm

      Blackened alligator! Cookie’s cooking. 🙂

  • 7. lifeisacookie  |  August 11, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Shouldn’t you be pullin’ for Houston or Dallas?!? 😉

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