Alabama could you PLEASE make news for something positive?!?
Rhetorical question …
::: sadz 😦 :::
The powers-that-be in Mobile are feeling all proud of themselves now that they’ve decided not to prosecute an 81-year-old woman who’s uncooperative bladder got the best of her in Bienville Square one hot, muggy south Alabama day in June.
“The city is not interested in prosecuting someone to full extent of law because they had an accident,” city attorney Larry Wettermark said.
Oh well that just covers it, doesn’t it?!?
Let’s give them all giant medals for backing ass-first into the obvious!
I mean, surely they deserve a little something for the brain drain of realizing the sheer fuckery of their actions only AFTER widespread public outrage over the colossally stupid and immensely insensitive arrest.
Let’s recap, shall we?
Lula Mae Battle — did I mention she’s EIGHTY FUCKING ONE YEAR’S OLD?!?!? — had been at her bank on June 3 when nature began to call.
She asked the teller if she could use their restroom, but the bitchy bank employee brought the hell naw, which meant poor old Lula Mae had to haul her hotcross buns to the nearest public restroom which – as her luck that day would have it – was on the other fucking side of a goddamned fucking city park!!!!!
::: … deep breaths … :::
And — shock of shockingest shocks — she didn’t make it.
::: ACK!!!!! :::
But instead of offering assistance to an elderly person clearly in distress, some dumbshit (and as-yet unnamed) flunky cadet called an even dumbershit (and as-yet unnamed) flunky cop who got his Johnny Law on and arrested Lula Mae for public lewdness — a class C misdemeanor punishable by up to three months in jail.
Cue the public outcry …
“If I was her I’d go back in that bank and stand there till I left a puddle on the floor just on principle after closing my account!” internet commenter ALAGOVEATSHT oh so rightly ranted on an al.com message board.
“It’s down right SICK to arrest a little old lady who has a bladder problem,” web-reader lorettanall pointed out, adding later. “The cop should be put on trial for being an inconsiderate moron.”
::: hell to the yeah! :::
But it was that hot slut herself — Bamamom18 — who, for me, nutshelled why this story has people … well, PISSED! [pun intended]:
“Mrs Battles is 81 years old and has been publically humiliated. Why don’t you just make her wear a big red “U” on her clothes and make her stand in the square and let people laugh at her. Yeah, I bet that would teach her a lesson to become elderly and have normal health issues that come with being elderly.
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT OUR CITY HAS COME TO.
Think people, think about what has happened to these people. They could be members of your family.”
Yes … yes they could …
Entry filed under: blogging, community, crime, culture, education, Gossip, law enforcement, life, News, reporting, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: al.com, alabama, dumb, dumbass, dumbfuck, elderly, idiot, internet, mobile, outrage, police, random, sad, sick, stupid, thoughts, website, wrong.