There’s a bat in that belfry
I didn’t even have to read the story.
I knew Jim Bartek was a raging kookleberry before the third paragraph.
Actually, I knew it as soon as I read the [most ridiculously long] headline:
Jim ‘Nostradamus’ Bartek of Maple Heights has listened to a Judas Priest album 391 straight days
Yup. Coudda Shoudda stopped right there!
Live and learn, right?
See, the kookles took hold of Jim’s soul last June when English heavy metal pioneer Judas Priest released its gomillionumpteenth album “Nostradamus.” They dedicated the album to the 16th-century seer who is credited with prophesying cataclysmic events, but the screaching, scratching voices in Jim’s head were all eatitLiveItBREATHEIT!!!!!!
There should be a law requiring dictionaries to include a high-resolution image of Jim’s bonkerwonkey eyes right there next to the word ‘cataclysmic’ because listening to the same shit on a year-long loop is about as batshit crazy as a bitch can get!
I mean, hellooooo??? There is a reason repetitive music and sound are time-honored torture techniques.
“Heavy metallers are a little out there,” explains Ohio heavy metal DJ Bill Peters. “But listening to the same album every day? Even crazier, a double album?”
But then I knew that just by reading the headline as well …
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