Minding YOUR Business

June 18, 2009 at 7:23 pm 5 comments

I want to know in what order officials of Bozeman, Montana hit the crackpipe each day.

Does the mayor get first dibbs or does that honor to go a sitting commissioner?
Because, I mean, if they’re not hittin’ the pipe, passing the doob or actively inebriated, like, ALL FUCKING DAY — then I don’t know how you justify the blatant paranoia that is their city job application policy.

See, in normal-type environs, Joe Jobseker knows that, after he fills out the requisite forms, he’s gonna have to trot his hot self down to Quest Diagnostics or the free clinic of some place to have his hemos and pees screened.

That’s just how it’s done – in most places.
But business gets handled a little differently in Bozeman.

To get a city job there, you better come prepared for a whole new pee test — the kind where you piss away your right to privacy!

Part jobapplicantof the selection process is a waiver statement applicants must sign, giving the city permission to conduct an investigation into the person’s “background, references, character, past employment, education, credit history, criminal or police records.”

Which sounds like the usual blah blah — if you don’t keep reading.

“Please list any and all, current personal or business websites, web pages or memberships on any Internet-based chat rooms, social clubs or forums, to include, but not limited to: Facebook, Google, Yahoo, YouTube.com, MySpace, etc.”

Wait. What?

Uh huh! Big Brother is from Bozeman!!

Those bitches even provide additional space for candidates to jot down their user names and passwords!
::: PWNED! :::

That is some serious ‘they’rewatchingme Iknowthey’retalkingaboutmecan’t someonestopethevoicesINMYHEAD’ fucked up shit!!

And how in the hell did I miss the protests!?! The boycotts!?!?! The public cries of outrage over such a heavy-handed and completely intrusive bully-move!?!?!?!

What’s that?
There weren’t any?

Nuh uh.

City Attorney Greg Sullivan says no one has ever removed his or her name from consideration for a job over the city gettin’ all up in they biz.

Which means Bozeman must be home to the most desperate bunch of rejects and whogivesashit-ologists in the known universe!
And, under normal circumstances, that infonugget would give me a serious case of the sadz, but then I remember that we’re talking about some dumpy destination in the middle of mont-freakin’-TANA and I’m all HAHAHAHAHA – MONTANA!!!!! because it occurs to me that I don’t give a shiny shit and am free to go on about my day and I’m happy because freedom is good … or something.




Entry filed under: blogging, comedy, community, culture, entertainment, funny, Gossip, government, humor, life, neighborhood, odd, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

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