Effed-up effigy?

April 2, 2009 at 3:16 pm 5 comments

Some people are so damned touchy!

A shepherd of the Lord in Germany has been gettin’ his God on by playjesusrecreating scenes from the good book using modified Playmobil characters, such as an awesomely anatomically-correct Adam and Eve.

For some inexplicable reason – Playmobil has a problem with this.

In a strongly worded missive sent to Markus Bomhard, the toymaker described his work as a “massive manipulation of the figures, for example reshaping their arms with a hairdryer or candle to nail them to a cross”.
::: Well, the devil IS in the details … :::

Not one to crap out on the ninth commandment, bible boy fessed up.

“It’s true that I did use a hairdryer to soften the figure for the crucifixion scene because the fingers wouldn’t spread out jesuswomenproperly otherwise. Then I had to let it harden again before I could nail it to the cross.”
::: SEE PLAYMOBIL! If your shit was more malleable none of this would have been necessary!!! :::

“We are quite tolerant if this is done in the privacy of the home but if someone crucifies a Playmobil figure, or, as in the case of Eve, glues on breasts, then this is a completely different dimension,” Playmobil’s Gisela Kupiak explained.

The offending evangelizer has defended his depictions by invoking none other that Pope Benedict XVI.

“May your project allow many children and adults access to Holy Scripture,” Benny wrote in support of the misguided minster.
::: That’s right, douchebags! Think of the CHIRREN!!! :::

— Not for nothing, but even a hellbound heathen like yours truly has to admit that God’s representative on Earth pretty much trumps corporate flak correspondence anyday. —

adameveBut Playmobil brass were all ‘Wrath of God, Schmath of God, fucker! You’ll be feeling the Wrath of Ira Goldenblatt if you don’t yank Adam’s wank and pull the plug on Eve’s tasty tatas!”

‘They’ve given the confused ecclesiastic until April 6 to remove the inappropriate imagery from his website.

… Sünders …

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Lost their shirt — found their funny bone Movie makers get their miser on


  • 1. writechicpress  |  April 2, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    OMG, Mormons believe April 6th is Jesus’ birthday. Coincidence?

    (and lemme just say for the record, those naked Adam and Eve toys are gross. Grosser than the crucifixion.)

  • 2. beeyatch  |  April 2, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    I can tell Eve’s nippis are hard (must be cold in there) but did Adam have pubies or was that my imagination?


  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  April 2, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    DANGIT girls! I was having fun wtih that — until you brought the yuck!

  • 4. Ponchita  |  April 2, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    OMG HAHAHAHA!!! This shit TOTALLY trumps the Jesus switchplate. At least that didn’t have pubies 😎

    The guy is a little twisted though for using kiddy toys to depict the crucifixion. If you want to teach children about the life of Christ…then take them to Church. I could be wrong here, but I’m sure maybe Adam and Eve at least covered their hoo-has with a leaf or something right? He could have covered them up.

  • 5. lifeisacookie  |  April 3, 2009 at 10:11 am

    SO TRUE, Ponchita!!
    I think it was a palm frond and two coconuts strung together 🙂
    Fashion BC

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