Big Brother IS watching!

March 31, 2009 at 1:23 pm 1 comment


Good news, breadliners!

Your government cares about you!

Well, ok. Maybe not you, Mr. L.A. Dude who offed your whole family govmybadlast year over your mounting financial mess.
Or you, Mr. Ohio Guy who was so worried about money that X-ing out the fam was, apparently, the only option.
And, ok, not you, Mr. Pennsylvania Businessman who’s fiscal failures led to things gettin’ all shooty with the missus.
And, well uh, if we’re being honest —  you either, Mr. San Fran Skin-Care Clinic owner who mistook your lagging sales as a sign it was time to liquidate your loved ones …  

… but for the rest of you sad sacks out there not yet driven to do in those dearest to you – your government wants you to know it cares about you!

It does!
They even set up a super special website to prove it!!

govheroGetting Through Tough Economic Times” — an inadequately-titled guide intended to provide “practical advice on how to deal with the effects financial difficulties can have on your physical and mental health” — launched in the wee hours overnight.
::: … guess no one liked the more aptly-titled ‘How To Deal When Your World’s Gone To Shit’ … :::

On this little corner of the interwebs, the feds will educate your impovrished ass about depression, suicidal thinking and other mental illnesses.
::: Because who knows better about depression and suicidal thinking than government workers, right? :::

govnokillIt lays out the warning flags for: Persistent sadness/crying; Excessive anxiety; Lack of sleep/constant fatigue; Excessive irritability/anger. 
::: Oh. Those aren’t just regular conditions of life now? :::

So, if you’re unsure whether your spouse has slaughter in his/her heart?
If you’re worried that crushing debt is making the one you hold dear consider dumping your dead body in a ditch??
If you’re concerned that paying the bills has poisoned your partner against you???

Don’t take matters into your own ignorant hands!
Consult Uncle Sam – your hard times BFF!

SOURCE

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Entry filed under: advertising, blogging, community, culture, education, entertainment, family, funny, Gossip, government, health, humor, life, media, News, poverty, reporting, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

GEEZUS! A Tisket, A Tasket …

1 Comment

  • 1. matt  |  April 1, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    This blog’s great!! Thanks :).


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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