When crazy calls …

March 27, 2009 at 4:50 pm 5 comments

There seems to be some kind of fascination in Florida recently with calling 9-1-1 whenever some shithead gets his panties in a bunch.

First there was Jacksonville’s Reginald wrongwayPeterson, who singlehandedly spearheaded this super stupidity by calling 9-1-1 not once, but twice to complain to police that his Subway sandwich was not made to his liking.
::: Jared would NOT approve! :::

Then came copycat complainer Jean Fortune of Boynton Beach who called the cops when the local Burger King ran out of lemonade.
::: Clearly, the irony of the whole ‘when life hands you lemons’ lesson was lost on Mr. Fortune. :::

Not to be outdone by the men’s team in the Get A Fucking Clue Championships, Latreasa Goodman of Ft. Pierce suffered a mcdsupersized McNugget meltdown when her local Mickey D’s ran out of the deep-fried pressed ‘chicken’ parts.

“This is an emergency! If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one. This is an emergency,” Goodman griped in one of her two 9-1-1 calls.
* Oh DO click the links and give it a listen — you’ll thank me*

And now we have Tampa’s Evon Cavett – who skillfully set her self apart from the rest of that sadsack pack by going full retard without ever leaving home.
::: CRAFTY! :::

This bitch dialed dispatchers not one, not Two, but THREE times to complain that her roommate was trying to take away her beer — but when the cops showed up, Cavett conveniently couldn’t remember calling them in the first place.
::: … et wuzzin mee, occifers … :::

They left and she immediately called 9-1-1 to complain about their visit. I’m sure she would have made all kinds of good points and sincere statements –  but the emotional toll of being such a colossal dumb fuck was too much for even Evon and she started to cry.
She sobbed “It hurts my feelings” before doing a quick attitudinal 180 and evoncblurting out, “Look, if you’re going to lock me up, come here and lock me up! You heard that?”
::: All bets are off when you let Natty Light do the talking! :::

Not long after hanging up on her second ’emergency’ call, Sloshy McDrinksalot drunk dialed again, shouting “Come arrest me!” — and shock of shocks – they did!
::: That house coat in her booking mug is HOT! :::

Oh – she’ll be ok. Don’t you worry about old Evon. No sir!
County lockup is like a second home for this wacko ho, who’s prior arrests are a veritable treasure trove of transgressions – including
Battery, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, theft, driving without a license, operating an unregistered vehicle and writing a bad check.

So it’s hardly surprising that she’d lose her shit over some suds.

After being arrested and charged with three misdemeanors, Twitferbrainz posted $1,250 bail and was set free to one day [very soon] delay emergency responders from handling your heart attack … or assisting after reported assault … or tending to a trauma victim …

Entry filed under: blogging, comedy, community, crime, culture, dining, entertainment, Gossip, government, humor, law enforcement, life, neighborhood, News, reporting, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Online: Where destiny & fate = density & fat What do you get …


  • 1. Ponchita  |  March 27, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    dats one sexy ass mu-mu mama’s got on!

  • 2. writechicpress  |  March 29, 2009 at 4:55 am

    Sloshy McDrinksalot. Cookie, you always make me laugh!

  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  March 29, 2009 at 7:31 pm


  • 4. nonnie9999  |  January 5, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    we had fast food nation. can fast food incarceration be far behind?

  • 5. thecookie  |  January 5, 2010 at 10:28 pm

    Ohhhh that would be too good!

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