Online: Where destiny & fate = density & fat
Listen up parents!
Just in case you’ve been in a Lithium haze and missed the memo:
Danger lurks on the Interwebs!!!!!
That computer you use to pay bills, read lifeisacookie news and buy your happy time toys?
The one your kids use to buy Webkinz, read lifeisacookie homework assignments and send pictures to grandma?
It’s also a portal of prodigiously perilous possibilites!!
::: OH MY! :::
Just ask the 13-year-old snowflake from Centerville, Utah who was stopped mere moments before boarding a Greyhound bus bound for California to meet the man of her dreams nightmares. —>
Princess and 40-year-old sexpot Robert Lavern Davison —>
met on the Internet (DANGER!) last year while playing the game “World Of Warcraft’ and began spending secret steamy times together chatting online, before moving to e-mail and ultimately graduating to full-on verbal intercourse!
::: … it’s ok – take a moment to vomit if you need to … :::
Mom was none the wiser until the day little preshuss didn’t show up for school because she was buying a bus ticket.
The cops were called and, with the help of the hot sluts from Utah’s Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force, they cracked kiddo’s computer and cell phone and exposed the all the tricky icky ewww inside.
Using their sleuthing superpowers, officers decided a 13-year-old who obviously can’t drive and probably didn’t have enough funds for air fare would likely have to either hoof it or bank a bus ticket to meet her mystery date … and since Cali’s hell and gone from Utah, the smart money was always on the bus terminal — where they did, indeed, find the unwitting future rape, torture and mutilation candidate patiently waiting for her ride.
::: Someone’s getting grounded! :::
Unaware that he was now cybersexing with Johnny Law, Scary Hairy continued his charming chats, which became even more sexual, graphic and violent in nature until the FBI’d had enough, layed down the smack and arrested him at his Kelseyville, California house.
::: Game over, fatty! :::
You know, I take great comfort in the knowledge that Dreamboat remains locked up as I write this — yeah yeah, because a child was saved and all — but mostly because I’m relieved to know that only Tony Two Fingers and Big Freddie will get a taste of whatever special sauce created THIS nasty mess! –>
Frealz! What in open sore psoriasis hell IS that thing?!?
Entry filed under: blogging, community, crime, culture, education, entertainment, family, Gossip, health, journalism, law enforcement, life, media, neighborhood, News, odd, photography, reporting, school, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: California, chat, children, computer, danger, disgusting, eww, gross, internet, News, parents, people, predator, random, teen, thoughts, utah, warning, world of warcraft.