March 18, 2009 at 10:11 am 3 comments

So I got ^ this email ^ yesterday at mmmm.lifeisacookie@gmail.com that was kinda sorta seemingly callin’ my ass a few kinds of out for not going apeshit on the whole AIG sitch.

And I’m all ‘Dude! What’s going on?!? If only you knew how I’ve tried!’

‘What’s going on?’
Well, for one thing, I really didn’t think anyone would want to read 8 inches of FUCK YOU AIG ASSHATS AND YOUR MISERABLE CORPORATE FUCKERY, YOU GREEDY FUCKING FUCKTARDED FUCKERS!!

I mean, it’s not exactly what one would call particularly ‘insightful’ or ‘thought-provoking’, now is it?

‘What’s going on??’
Every time I sit down, try to channel my inner calm and meaningfully articulate just exactly how I feel about AIG paying more than $160 million in bonuses to employees of its Financial Products division …
… the unit primarily responsible for the company’s epic meltdown …
… the meltdown that resulted in AIG getting more than $170 billion of my yours OUR money in the form of a taxpayer-funded bailout …
… the bailout that essentially made instant millionaires over the weekend of more than 70 people (11 of whom no longer even WORK there) who had a direct fucking role in bringing the fucking company to the brink of ETERNAL FUCKING RUIN …

… What’s going on is that I get a POUNDING HEADACHE from repeatedly bashing my forehead against the wall out of earned aggravation and excessively escalating pissiosity!

Because it’s not just the greedy muddascunt AIGers who arouse my anger, sir.


I have ire in reserve for the Federal Reserve twits and the Treasury Deptartment meatsacks who should have put terms into the original bailout agreement that would have prevented this fiscal fuckery — but didn’t in the rush rush to get the [admittedly necessary] bill passed.

And I feel I can rightly direct a fair amount of fury at every lameass, near-sighted Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Green Partier, lobbyist, banker, zoologist, cryptozoologist, philatelist or rare coin collector who had even the most limited hand in ultimately putting before then-President Bush the $700 billion NO FUCKING OVERSIGHT economic bailout package (Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008) which became the godawful Troubled Assets Relief Program (TARP) when shrub signed that bitch into law on October 3.

‘What’s going on?!?’

I don’t think I can harness this hissy fit and I sure as shit couldn’t find my happy place right now even if you plopped my tuckus smack in the middle of it from a hot-air balloon powered solely by sunshine and positive thoughts!

‘What’s going on?!?!’

There [almost] are no words …


Entry filed under: blogging, comedy, community, culture, education, election, fun, George Bush, Gossip, government, humor, life, media, neighborhood, News, odd, Politics, poverty, reporting, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Straight. Up. TRIPPIN’! Our life’s work – for nothing?


  • 1. trippy524  |  March 18, 2009 at 11:52 am

    funny stuff

  • 2. springdaddy  |  March 18, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    I had real bad gas one time, that felt just like that….

  • 3. Type Writer  |  March 19, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    So how do you feel about the allegations that Geithner should have said or done something about this back in Sept. when he was in the room where TARP was drawn up? Or the allegations that Sen. Dodd could have done something about this last week?

    Probably the best way AIG could have handled this would have been to defer these bonuses till after they get off the bailout dole, if that ever happens. As it is, they may need to change their company to save their brand…

    p.s. Can you imagine what curious’ response to all this would have been? I never thought I’d ever say this, but I kinda miss the ol’ coot…

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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