Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Pleeeeeeeease?????

February 22, 2009 at 7:55 pm 3 comments



Dear Academy Awards,
Please let Mickey Rourke win tonight’s Oscar for Best Actor in a Leading Role.

I know his nomination for The Wrestler was because it was, you know, ‘good’ and ‘awesome’ and a showcase of superlative adjective-type words, not to mention a bunch of other blah blah about method acting and crap like that — but that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking Mickey. The mangled hunk of mysteryflesh that makes me feel like a superachiever just for waking up each morning.

I love to watch Mr. Potatoface puff his ciggies while telling everyone to fuck off or go screw themselves (but not Courtney Love) and then laugh so hard that his one natural follicle shakes when memories he thought the booze and coke had erased somehow float magically to the surface of his mind.

That shit is funny, dudes!!!

Mickey is like a one-man amusement park for my mind.
I need him, and I am being 100% totally for real here when I say — so do you.

You have to know that Mickey and Heath Ledger are the only reasons anyone will be watching your crapass show tonight – and only one of them can give a speech!

So do the right thing, guys, and remember – Loki is watching.

Smooches!
Cookie

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Ewwww pig … souie! Darned SHOOTIN’!

3 Comments

  • 1. noni  |  February 22, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    Remember when he was hot — 9 1/2 Weeks hot?

  • 2. Ponchita  |  February 23, 2009 at 6:46 am

    Well, I had to turn the pile of poo O-F-F when I saw what Mary Hart was wearing. Seriously, did she lose a bet to have to wear that crapfest of a dress tonight. Could she have honestly thought it was flattering? And don’t even make me mention Whoopi Goldberg …those two half wits must have lost the same bet.
    I’ve given up on the Oscars…quit watching years ago, BUT I was flipping channels tonight so thought I would see what all the beautiful people were wearing, and OMG am I sorry I did!!
    I know this has nothing to do with your original message, so sorry. In all honesty, just looking at Mickey Rourke frightens me.

  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  February 23, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Nah — it’s ok Ponchita! That’s what this little space is for!
    I have no idea why I watch it. I was hoping for something new, something bold — instead it was the same old horseshit from every year past. I don’t watch next year — they can phone that shit in!



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