Planet Dearth?

February 16, 2009 at 4:50 pm 8 comments


With all those nasty carbon footprints trackin’ up the place, ozone layer probs and general worldwide whatthefuckshouldIcare attitude about this rock we call home, I have been furiously building an underground shelter and stocking doomsday supplies seriously worried about going all *poof* Game Over at some point.

But — thanks to the scientifical handiwork of the super-smarties over at the Carnegie Institution of Science — I don’t have to worry about living off hominy and drainage water anymore!!!
::: YAY!!!!! :::

According to at least one Mr. Brawnybigbrain, “there could be one hundred billion Earth-like planets in our galaxy.”
::: Woo hoo!!! Earths for everyone!!! :::

Based on the numbers of planets found so far outside our Solar System, Carnegie’s Dr. Alan Boss estimates that each Sun-like star has, on average, one “Earth-like” planet … which means there would be HUGE numbers capable of supporting life … which means the most magnificent intergalactic mulligan in this history of ‘that one didn’t count’ EVER!!!
::: Break out the Aqua Net and crank up the Hummer – we’ve got planetary BACKUP!!! :::

This is such a total slice of complete AWESOME that I almost don’t know what to do with myself!
I mean, just think of the possibilities!

We can continue to gut this bitch 20 ways to Sunday and Al Gorgeous can’t say shit!
‘Cuz it’s all good!
‘Cuz we can just MOVE!!
::: It’ll be like college all over again!! :::

“Not only are they probably habitable but they probably are also going to be inhabited,” Boss  told BBC News about the planets.
::: Wait. Did he just toss out a ‘probably’ or two?!? :::

“But I think that most likely the nearby ‘Earths’ are going to be inhabited with things which are perhaps more common to what Earth
was like three or four billion years ago.”
::: uuhhh … like dinosaurs?!? :::

Like bacterial lifeforms.
::: soooo, that’s a ‘no’ on trading this one in, then? :::

… I suddenly have an urge to plant a tree …

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Pinellas pinheads strike again House pet FAIL

8 Comments

  • 1. springdaddy  |  February 16, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    Hold off on planting that tree and fire up the hummer in the driveway for the day. If Mr. Brainybigbrain can figure out that there’s other planets, don’t you think he and his posse can come up with a big ass can of Raid to wipeout all that bad shit, just like you’d do to a college dorm?? I say we call InterplanetaryU-haul and start packin…..

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  February 16, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Chlorofluorocarbons – they’re not just for breakfast anymore!

  • 3. Chris  |  February 16, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    That’s it. Just snatch away my hope!!

  • 4. writechicpress  |  February 17, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    Those cooties might be friendly and super smart, you know.

  • 5. lifeisacookie  |  February 17, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    Snatch and cooties … HEY NOW!

  • 6. springdaddy  |  February 17, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    We could make a sweet country song with those lyrics….

  • 7. lifeisacookie  |  February 17, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    I already KNOW that song! 🙂

  • 8. Chris  |  February 17, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Sing it sister !!!!!!! I’ll get out the banjo.


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