Get ready for Michael Phelps’ ‘Splishyboy Apology World Tour of Anguish’!!!
Aqualung was caught tokin’ the tube during two days of way hard partying last November with some gold diggers students at the University of South Carolina in Columbia.
I guess he thought it was all good since November is typically “a quiet time in the swimming calendar when athletes would not expect to get tested for drugs.”
Well not so fast, Flipper!
One of those ho’s had a camera and snapped you doing some seriously non-role modely shit.
::: Dude — Celebrity Drug Addict’s Rule #1: Pat ’em down before you bed ’em down … :::
I bet his peen was so embarrassed that it called in sick and crawled all the way back inside his body cavity because once his spokesbitch hit him with the knowledge that News Of The World had the photo — faster than you can say ‘Duuuuuude … hehe … wai … whaaaaaat???’ – Bongboy admitted to the ‘regrettable behavior’.
In a statement released to The Associated Press, The Ocho said:
“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”
Aww c’mon dude — it’s not like you were doing snowcaps or crazy eddies … riiight?
Don’t worry – I’m sure those endorsements, book deal and mommy’s Chico’s contract will all be juuuust fine.
I mean, it’s not like you’re some lowly working-class fucking commoner – the kind who’d be 45 kinds of deep-shit busted for doing that kind of illegal-type crap with, you know, peeps who are, like, underage and all!
HELL TO THE NO!!!
Could you just imagine the totally chaotified pandefuckinmonium that would happen if we held celebritards to those ‘real world’ standards and consequence-type things?!?!?
Noooo – of course you can’t …
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