Rank … and File 13

January 23, 2009 at 3:54 pm 10 comments

Dear Earth,

I know it’s been a while since my last letter and I hate to be the bearer of even more bad news for you because I know you’ve been under your weather for a really long time, buuuut – remember how I told you the folks at the Pew Research Center were doing a survey to figure out what people think President O’Beautiful’s priorities should be?

Well, they’re done and … gosh, I, I just don’t know how to say this other than just to come right out with it …

About those priorities?
You’re not one.

I mean, your movie was off the chain and all – and you know how hot Al Goregous makes me (kind of like the way burning fossil fuels and deforestation make you feel) – but the bottom line is that we’re all just beginning the long journey out of the darkness of this New Great Depression and, well, you don’t put food on the tab … oh wait – ok, you sort of  do … ummm, uhh, what I meant to say is that you don’t pay the bills.
Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to say.

You don’t pay the bills, and so we have to make fixing the economy Priority Numero Uno right now.

Now, I know we made a big deal about you there for a while and, gosh, I sure hope you don’t take this too hard … it’s just that there’s just so much to fix!!

What with the economic situation, the health care situation, the education situation, the social security situation, the crime situa … well, just all the other situations we’ve been so so busy not fixing for the last eight years.

But you are important to me!!
You are!

Increased heating bills, higher cooling bills, rising insurance bills, ever-expanding grocery bills … I know you’re a part of making all of those bills higher … if only you could help pay for them …
… but you can’t and so folks were all ‘Global Warming Schmobal Schmorming, Earth Schmerth! – I need to get straight up PAID, bitch!’ when it was time to prioritize.

Soooo … you know, like, I’m sorry and all and I really do hope you feel better soon.
Maybe next year … right?!?

Yeah … ok … well, umm, see you at the rally in April



Entry filed under: Barack Obama, blogging, community, culture, education, election, family, George Bush, Gossip, health, humor, life, media, neighborhood, News, odd, Politics, science, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

It’s cute when they get a clue … Next year is 69 baby!!


  • 1. writechicpress  |  January 23, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    Okay. Here’s the master plan. Our energy issue (#5) puts some hurt on the Earth. So with our powers combined, if we harness wind, sun, water, and heart, we can solve the economy issue (#1) by creating green (#16) jobs (#2)….which all address #5. And the terrorism issue (#3) will be addressed because if we go green, #3 goes broke (we don’t need your oily oil, you mofos).

    ♪♪Cause we are all connected to each other in circle, in a hoop that never ends.♪♪

  • 2. this buddy of mine  |  January 23, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    And the terrorism issue (#3) will be addressed because if we go green, #3 goes broke (we don’t need your oily oil, you mofos).

    Yes, cause we know that nothing stops terrorism like poverty;)

  • 3. writechicpress  |  January 23, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Hey, it was off the top of my head. 🙂

    Okay, Plan B. Terrorism funded by oil goes broke. Hmmm. And unemployed terrorists go and work at the swanky resorts in Dubai.

    Still thinking.

  • 4. this buddy of mine  |  January 23, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    ha ha!

    1. frustrate WCP — check
    2. make out with LIC — pending

  • 5. lifeisacookie  |  January 23, 2009 at 8:03 pm


  • 6. this buddy of mine  |  January 23, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    you know you want it

  • 7. lifeisacookie  |  January 23, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    So I DID read that right …..
    And would you go through Mr. Cookie to get it????? hehe

  • 8. writechicpress  |  January 23, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    Okay, it’s obviously time for a “Does this Poll Make Me Look Gay?” Who would make out without Mr. Cookie to get to Cookie?

    jes’ kiddin’

  • 9. Chris  |  January 24, 2009 at 2:09 am

    “fight fight fight”

  • 10. Chris  |  January 24, 2009 at 2:11 am

    LOL WCP – Meeee!! Oh wait – that aint the same thing. Bwah-ha-ha

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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