… don’t get fooled again?

January 16, 2009 at 6:52 pm 3 comments


flyingpigWith all the airborne people movers suckin’ up space in the Hudson, lame mea culpas from outgoing presidunces and the upcoming coronation of the Glorious Sunshine King of Hope – you may not have noticed that some shit actually kinda got done on the Hill yesterday.

Votes cast, approvals made, limits approved, Republicans whined … OMG! I get misty just thinking about it!!! 

happymoneyI mean, ok, so yeah – Uncle Sam is about to cross the t’s and dot the i’s on another taxpayer-funded Bank of America welfare check.

A $20 billion welfare check Senators said ‘sure sure, ok’ to when they voted to release the last $350 billion in financial-rescue funds from the way popular Troubled Asset Relief Program rammed up America’s ass enacted last year.

Oh, but don’t worry there citizen!
I know the banks are all ‘gimme gimme gimme but I ain’t giving YOU shit!’ and ‘Fuck you Mr. Taxpayer‘ and everything — but it’s cool.
It’s good.
It’s aaalllll gonna be ok!

Why?
Because the karmic winds of change are blowing, silly! And soon we will all bathe in shimmery golden droplets of everlasting heavenly promise.

It’s true!
It’s all part of my boyfriend‘s massive stimulus package  … and there’s even a little something for Joe Sixpack over there, standing in the breadline on Mainstreet!
::: Umm, but don’t get carried away, Joe — this ain’t the Taxpayer Lotto. Bank of America won that in the first go round … :::

cryinggopInstead of doing the historically Republican thing and stamping their feet and executing a kindergarten-esque crying jag on the steps of Congress, Transition Teamers took a different path and borrowed a page from the ‘Working Together’ playbook the big kids use.
::: UNPRECEDENTED!!! :::

O’Baby’s top money dude, Lawrence Summers, totally pinky swore they’re gonna use $50 billion to $100 billion for “a sweeping effort to address the foreclosure crisis.”
::: … that’s your cut, Joe… :::

And we have Summers’ word of honor that they’re taking the  freebie, no strings, all-you-can-get dish off the menu at the bailout buffet.
::: NEATO! :::

THIS TIME there are gonna be some black-leather-biker-bar-tough oversights and tracking and accountability and all kiiinds of conscientious-sounding words to show the mega-seriosity surrounding how the money is used!
::: *sniff* I’m not sure but that smells like change I can believe in! SPIFFERIFIC!!! :::

But wait! There’s more!
The powers that are about to be are totally gonna get all restrictiony about executive pay at firms that receive help … this time.
::: Frealz? I’m fragile … don’t toy with me! :::

“I know this wasn’t an easy vote because of the frustration so many of us share about how the first half of this plan was implemented,” O’Beautiful said as he beamed approval from a cloudless sky.
“Now my pledge is to change the way this plan is implemented and keep faith with the American taxpayer.”
::: I’m gonna hold you to it, hot stuff!! :::

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” – Dumbya

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Entry filed under: blogging, community, culture, Gossip, government, humor, life, media, neighborhood, News, poverty, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Scary Communiqué FAIL They usually don’t fall far

3 Comments

  • 1. Otto Mann  |  January 16, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    hm . . . interesting!

    🙂

  • 2. springdaddy  |  January 16, 2009 at 9:26 pm

    This Joe-American is all wore out!! I aint lettin no more of this wango tango action happen to me. I’m taking that job down under. I’ll thumb wrestle you for it cookie…..LOL!

    When did the word stimulus become so…….so friggen painful???

  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  January 17, 2009 at 1:51 am

    My thumb’s pretty strong Springdaddy! You may want to go for a staring contest instead … just sayin’!

    And I’m with you — I hate that they’ve turned one of my sexy-time words into something all government-smelly!
    CURSE YOU GOVERNMENT OVERLORDS!!!


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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