Scary Communiqué FAIL

January 15, 2009 at 5:22 pm 7 comments

Osama bin Laden must have gotten bored picking burrs and gnats out of his beard or something ‘cuz he hooked up the camcorder again – this time calling for Israel’s imminent doom.


Ya … ‘cept nobody cares.
::: We’re just not that into you … :::

ignoreblU.S. officials dismissed the tape [TAPE?!?], saying not only is it NOT a credible threat to my boyfriend’s ascention to the Bejeweled and Golden Throne of Audacious Hopification – but that it also looked like a cheesy fund-raising effort.
::: Someone drank the ‘Terrorist Telethons are gonna be BIG in ’09’ Kool-Aid … ::

White House spokesman Gordon Johndroe said, “It appears this tape [TAPE?!? WTF?!?] demonstrates his isolation and continued attempts to remain relevant at a time when al Qaeda’s ideology, mission, and agenda are being questioned and challenged throughout the world.”
::: BOO YA, BEEYATCH!!! :::

Next week’s three-day drunken orgy of lurve for O’Baby is expected to draw adoring hoards of 1.5 million or more to the Washington – so, of course the FBI is all over anything that even remotely resembles anything remotely threateny or killy sounding.
So what’d they make of bin Laden’s celuloid commandment?

A big hot cuppa NUTHIN’, that’s what!

When asked if the tape [MF! — TAPE?!?] represented a threat to the inauguration, FBI spokesman Richard Kolko said, “We have no specific or credible threat to the inauguration.”
::: DENIED!!! Not even worth a mention of the wicked one? SO COLD!!! :::


Listen – next time just save us all your Midol moment and upload your rants to YouTube like Chrissy ‘leave Britney alooooooone’ Crocker.

That way all the little evildoer wannabes chained to the wall of the cave of wicked villainy and the 4 people in your MySpace fanclub can whack it to your totally rad terrorist gyrations of dooooooom … and leave the rest of us to go about the very pressing business of converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

‘kay pumkin?


Entry filed under: Barack Obama, blogging, community, culture, election, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, government, humor, law enforcement, life, media, neighborhood, News, odd, Politics, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Cue Apple tankage in 3 … 2 … … don’t get fooled again?


  • 1. Chris  |  January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    Poor little Osama…. nobody cares anymore…..

  • 2. noni  |  January 16, 2009 at 1:57 am

    Better be careful — he’s probably making a tape for YOU!

  • 3. this buddy of mine  |  January 16, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    were those birds in NY yesterday Al Qaeda?

  • 4. writechicpress  |  January 16, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Well, praise Allah and fuck a goat. Seriously, he’d get a lot more attention with the Osama-Goat porn tape than with these yawny, friggin, cave-cam clips.

  • 5. lifeisacookie  |  January 16, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    Ok — I just read BOTH of those together literally and almost choked on my drink!

  • 6. writechicpress  |  January 16, 2009 at 7:00 pm


  • […] 17, 2009 We point and laugh now when Osama bin Laden emerges from his cave of wicked villainy just long enough to issue a murderous edict, test his Panzerfaust 3 or order some yummy Chinese […]

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