Felonious free-for-all?

January 10, 2009 at 11:21 pm 17 comments

So the New Great Depression is kind of a bummer for most folks, what with losing their jobs, their houses, their entire life savings, their health care, their identity and their self-respect and all …

… but do you know who it’s good for?

FELONS, that’s who!
:::  … always two sides … ::: 

With state budgets in Defcon 5 panic mode – governors, legislators and prison officials across the country are rethinking that whole ‘justice for all’ concept and making policy changes that would put Big Stan, The Ox and Lester the Child Molester back on your block aaaaany time now.
::: Get the Welcome Wagon ready! ::: 

Prior to this fiscal crisis, legislators could tinker around the edges – but we’re now well past the tinkering stage,” said Marc Mauer, executive director of the Sentencing Project, which advocates alternatives to incarceration.
::: Putting the hood back in your ‘hood one day at a time! :::

“Many political leaders who weren’t comfortable enough, politically, to do it before can now,” he said
::: ‘I’m sorry Parolee # 286998 hacked your family to death — but think of the money you’ll save on tuition! :::

All aboard the freedom train!

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is proposing early release of about 1,000 inmates.
::: Thugtastic! :::

New York Governor David Paterson wants early release for 1,600 inmates.
::: Shankerific! :::

And Kentucky recently implemented a ‘temporary’ cost-cutting program that’s given early release to nearly 2,000 inmates … including murderers and other violent offenders!
::: ‘cuz why should child-touchers and embezzlers have all the fun! :::

“There’s a new openness to taking a look,” said Michigan Senator Alan Cropsey, a Republican who in the past has questioned prison-reform proposals but — now that everyone can blame everything on the economy — isn’t gonna waste precious time thinkinating and solutionizing.

And who would?
Pansy ass liberals – that’s who!

Wussy hippie alarmists — like Thomas Sneddon, executive director of the National District Attorneys Association — are all ‘uhh, maybe there’s a better way guys???’

“I don’t think the public at large has any idea of who’s in these prisons,” he whined. “If they went and visited, they’d say ‘My God, don’t let any of these people out.'”

Actually, it’d be more like ‘ OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT! He’s in for WHAT?!?’
But who cares! A penny saved, right? 

Cue BCO share takeoff in 3 … 2 …


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Pass that doobie, Dick! That’s lardcore, yo!


  • 1. noni  |  January 11, 2009 at 1:29 am

    wouldn’t they have to warn you or something before they could just let a murder go and move into your neighborhood?

  • 2. Christina  |  January 11, 2009 at 2:35 am

    I think the only lists are the child molester lists. Murderers aren’t quite as scary I guess.

    Why don’t they just let all the guys out that are in for Mary Jo charges? I mean, in all the history of history, no one’s ever died from smokin’ pot.

  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  January 11, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    I think Kentucky added non-violent drug offenses to their list of get out of jail free cards – I think it’s a fine idea personally.
    I’d rather have a buzzer in the ‘hood than some guy who thinks ‘skinnin thangs’ for fun is cool …

  • 4. Christina  |  January 11, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    Well, yay Kentucky. And I know there’s a Kentucky/hillbilly joke in there somewhere but I’m too tired to figure one out.

  • 5. this buddy of mine  |  January 12, 2009 at 4:01 am

    LIC…here is a story that needs a woman’s perspective


  • 6. lifeisacookie  |  January 12, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    Ahhh — true love!

  • 7. springdaddy  |  January 12, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    Darn it all!!!! I was thinkin of becomin a felon. Three hots and a cot along with cable TV, internet, excersise equipment, health care, library and edumacation sounded apealing.
    Guess I’ll have to rethink the whole surviving during rough times plan.

  • 8. lifeisacookie  |  January 12, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Nothing good ever lasts!!!

  • 9. Christina  |  January 12, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    I’ve thought the same springdaddy. The swimming pools are what make me so jealous. Plus their healthcare. Must be nice!!

  • 10. lifeisacookie  |  January 12, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Cavity searches for EVERYONE!!!

  • 11. Christina  |  January 12, 2009 at 9:43 pm


  • 12. lifeisacookie  |  January 12, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    C’mon! It’ll be fun!!!

  • 13. Christina  |  January 13, 2009 at 5:00 am

    I don’t even know if I’m gonna be the searcher or the searched…. but I’m still going with… PASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    No Cookie!!!!!!! Stop passing me alcohol. It aint gonna work!!!!

  • 14. Christina  |  January 13, 2009 at 5:04 am

    No Cookie!!!!!!!! *hiccup* I’m…. I……. I done had enough I said!

  • 15. Christina  |  January 13, 2009 at 5:06 am

    Starkle, starkle, little twink,
    Who the hell are you I think.
    I’m not under what you call
    The alcofluence of incohol.
    I’m just a little slort of sheep,
    I’m not drunk like thinkle peep.
    I don’t know who is me yet,
    But the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
    So just give me one more fink to drill my cup,
    ‘Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.

    Wait Wait *hiccup* I have another one

    If water was vodka and I was a duck
    I’d swim to the bottom and never come up
    But water aint vodka and I aint a duck
    So pass me the bottle and shut the fuck up!


  • 16. lifeisacookie  |  January 13, 2009 at 10:59 am

    I love that so much! Did you write it? Can I repeat it multiple times in mixed company?? Did you pass out when you were done???
    TAKE A BOW — and come get your ‘Slice of Awesome’ crown!!

  • 17. Christina  |  January 13, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    Shoot— I wish I wrote that!!

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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