Pass that doobie, Dick!

January 9, 2009 at 9:23 pm 9 comments

I don’t know what Dick Cheney is smoking but I WANTS ME SOME!!!

America’s evil overlord says no one saw saw the economic crisis coming and, oh yeah – nobody at the CIA has done anything wrong!


Darth Cheney spun his fantastical web of lies to an Associated Press reporter who probably had to coerce the beastmaster sign some sort of legal document stating he promised not to – at any point during the interview – attempt to drain the blood from the reporter’s veins and drink it as an afternoon cocktail, quarter small children using chopsticks and piano wire or turn the reporter into a psycho robot killer with his demonic laser stare of doom.
::: LOOK AWAY!!!! :::

Once Ol’ Snarly scrawled his 666, the interview was on.
::: It’s the Fuzzy Logic History Hour with Uncle Dick – YAY!!! :::

He said there is no reason, no reason whaaaaatsoever for Dumbya to even give one little thought [like he’s capable of another kind] to pre-emptively pardoning anyone at the CIA because it’s just a giant ball of CRAZY to think anyone there would have been involved in any of those way harsh interrogationny tactics the rest of the world affectionately calls torture. Nuh uh! Nosireee!!!

“I don’t have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal,” he monotoned while playfully tasering Agent 6 of his Secret Service detail.
::: MULTI-TASKER!!! :::

Dr. Doom went on to say that Shrub has no need, no need whaaaaatsoever  to apologize for not picking up on the globally evident signs of  the looming economic crisis leading to the New Great Depression … even though key business leaders and economists (… Nouriel Roubini anyone? anyone?) had been warning about them, pointing right at them and hanging neon signs directly over them for more than two ‘nuthin’ to see here, war war war, buy a Hummer, the fundamentals are strong’ years.

“I don’t think anybody saw it coming,” he said, bits of crestfallen taxpayer falling from his fangs.

Then he blah blah’d some caca about his  ‘retirement’ plans to write a book or some crapass crap and his desire kill fish in rivers all over the country, but the interview was called to a convulsively abrupt end when his batteries got wet from an unexpected splash of pig’s blood and fried all the circuits in his motherboard.

… I hate it when that happens …


Entry filed under: blogging, culture, election, George Bush, Gossip, government, humor, journalism, life, media, neighborhood, News, newspapers, odd, Politics, reporting, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

EXCRETA! EXCRETA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! Felonious free-for-all?


  • 1. Christina  |  January 9, 2009 at 11:02 pm

    That headline totally caught me off guard and made me spit out my drink! And I love the pictures! Cheney is….. for lack of a better word… an idiot!!!

  • 2. writechicpress  |  January 9, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Cheney came to Alabama several months ago. And the sun refused to shine and all the happiness was sucked away and babies cried. It sucked.

  • 3. noni  |  January 9, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    an EVIL idiot 🙂

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  January 9, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    Isn’t that his job? To slowly kill the entire country like that?

  • 5. Christina  |  January 10, 2009 at 5:26 am

    Either like THAT or by accidentally shooting them…

  • 6. lifeisacookie  |  January 10, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    “right” “accidentally” … “got it”

  • 7. writechicpress  |  January 10, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    Oh, that’s right. Dick Cheney Shoots a 78 year old man in the Face Day is coming up February 11th.

  • 8. lifeisacookie  |  January 10, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    Dick Cheney Shoots A 78-Year-Old Man In The Face Day PARTY!

  • 9. Christina  |  January 11, 2009 at 2:28 am

    Woot Woot!!! Where we meetin’?

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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