Al Franken is king of Senaterica!!

January 5, 2009 at 2:13 pm 7 comments

Rejoice Americans!
The war is over!
The Battle of Minnesota is won!!!!!!

::: WOO HOO!!! Can we uncork the champagne now? :::

Democrat Al Franken will be declared Grand Poobah King of Meeneesohtah now that the counting of the recounted counts have been counted for the umpteenth zillion time, giving him a slim lead over Republican Norm Coleman in the 9,000-year struggle for his state’s senatorship

::: Yup. got it. Good stuff, there’s a winner, all’s good, blah blah blah … Champagne? Now??? :::

A bunch of folks who probably don’t even care anymore spent the weekend holding their eyes open with toothpicks while they calculated and countified what were deemed the last uncounted absentee ballots.

The result?
“Franken has a 225-vote lead,” said Minnesota Secretary of State Mark Ritchie.

::: Good. fine. WhatthefuckEVER!! When do we start drinking?!?!? :::

But Coleman, the undeterred incumbent, is ripping a page right from the Rod ‘Grabbyhands” Blagojevich playbook, vowing he will fight … he will fight … he will fight … for his right … to paaaaaAARRRTAY!
Yeaahhh ba … uhh, wait … no, that’s not right …

Coleman will fight to continue discovering, uncovering and manufacturing [if he has to] the exact number of recounted but as-yet uncounted votes needed to snatch victory from the jaws of Stuart Smalley.

::: … ehh, so that’s a ‘no’ on the bubbly then? :::

And if that doesn’t do the trick , he’ll take his case of whine all the way to the supreme court and start the goddamned process of counting the recounted counts that were counted, excluding the non-counted counts they didn’t have in the original count, all over again!

::: Geez Coleman!! It’s not all about YOU! There’s champagne for chrissakes! :::

“We remain convinced that this process is broken [because we didn’t win], and as a result, the numbers being reported will not be accurate or valid [because they don’t say we won] … (It) clearly means that a contest is the only likely remedy to ensure a fair outcome,” Coleman’s campaign manager Cullen Sheehan said.


Unless that bitch is proposing a steel-cage-drinking-contest-to-the-death, I’m a million kinds of OVER IT!

Serious question: Can we cut the new math estimatory summified bullshit and get down to the business of drinking fixing the country already?!?


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When gardeners go bad Oh there’s a special place, indeed!


  • 1. MommyCity  |  January 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    I guess he finally proved that he’s good enough, he’s smart enough, and doggone it, people like him!!

    Oh come on! Don’t act all surprised. You knew it was coming.

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  January 5, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    that he didn’t use that as his campaign slogan is CRIMINAL!

  • 3. this buddy of mine  |  January 5, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    this is why Minnesota should be kicked out of the Union. Seriously, on either side, is this the best that state can come up with?

  • 4. leafless  |  January 5, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    Well, he will probably bore to death confronting the reality that he is only a ‘junior senator’. Junior senators are known to be very busy at not being busy.

  • 5. lifeisacookie  |  January 5, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    I hear only two things come out of Minnesota …

  • 6. curious  |  January 5, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    that took longer than the florida recount. just goes to show that celebrity was the theme of the last election. frankenfag wouldn’t have had a chance if the dumbmasses hadn’t come out in droves and voted for the chicago boy.

  • 7. lifeisacookie  |  January 5, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    It’s good to have you back, Big C — but I don’t know about that sentiment (like you’re shocked …).

    I mean, it’s not like Coleman’s ever won anything by a landslide … or even handily!

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