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January 1, 2009 at 6:56 pm 10 comments


joaquin_phoenix240joaquinishideous2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                    2007 ………………………………………………………….. 2008

THIS hot hairy mess (and my boyfriend) are why 2009 is the year we should all be looking to get audaciously hopified … in triplicate!

The last year was hard, yo — and if you didn’t lose everything you own to a banking scandal or job loss or hush-hush trip to Vegas you can’t tell the missus about, then seeing the devastating toll the preceeding 12 months has taken on Joaquin Phoenix should nutshell it for you pretty concisely.

Dude is was a luscious piece and I am seriously prepared to cut a bitch for disagreeing … and so let’s offer up toasts, prayers, false idols and I’ll even throw in a really ugly ass regifted scarf my aunt thought would come in handy in FLORIDA (dumb bitch) in the hope that hotstuff can find his way to the razor counter at CVS, clean his shit UP and do better in 2009 …

… ’cause if he cain’t, ain’t no savin’ the rest of our sorry souls!

Godspeed Joaquin … godspeed!

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Entry filed under: blogging, celebrity, community, culture, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, humor, life, media, neighborhood, odd, photography, unbelievable. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

Happy New Year, Bitches! Not THAT’S using your thinkin’ cap, Scooter!

10 Comments

  • 1. writechicpress  |  January 1, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    >>Gasp.<<

    Our man’s been beat with the Charles Manson stick.

    He could at least do a combover on the hairlip scar…for the children for Chrissake.

  • 2. this buddy of mine  |  January 1, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    Happy New Year!.. LIC, your new story is posted…thanks!

  • 3. MommyCity  |  January 1, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    You actually thought he was hot back in the day? Seriously??

    OMG NO No Cookie!! Stop!! *holds up her hands to block the shanking*

    Really though… wth happened to him? He went from Johnny Cash to “do you have some spare change”

    LMAO — Okay — I just googled “johnny is so ugly” (minus quotes) trying to find an ugly Johnny. The 2nd thing that came up was “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?” Hahahaa

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  January 1, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    Whaaaattttt??? Hollywoofcrackchic doesn’t do it for you?
    (and no, that’s not a typo 😉 )

  • 5. MommyCity  |  January 1, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    Shouldn’t that beer sign be on the “WTH Happened to him” picture?

  • 6. lifeisacookie  |  January 1, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    Actually — it’s the EZ Comb he’s using that I love to make his hair behave … or whatever it’s doing
    See!

    EZ Comb

  • 7. MommyCity  |  January 2, 2009 at 1:03 am

    Wowwee – I gotsta get me one of those! Valid only through January?? Oh man I better hurry.

  • 8. lifeisacookie  |  January 2, 2009 at 1:36 am

    It’s caz, it’s formal, it’s the last hairdoodilly you’ll EVAR NEED!

  • 9. MommyCity  |  January 2, 2009 at 2:57 am

    Yeah – that’s what they said about the hairagami.

  • 10. lifeisacookie  |  January 2, 2009 at 10:52 am

    yeah, I have a drawer graveyard for those



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