Cinemania

December 28, 2008 at 2:58 pm 1 comment


I could see it over Nazi wargasm Valkyrie
::: because really — who wants to see that shit?? :::
I could undertand it over the Iron-Nunned Doubt
::: because, let’s face it, Meryl Streep can do that to you :::
You might even get me to sympathize if it happened during Spirit … 

… but Benjamin Button?!?

You bust a cap in someone’s as … err … ARM over The Curious Case of Benjamin Button?!?!?

122608_cialella_300How many shades of fucked-in-the-headedness do you have to be to try and ice a bitch over Benjamin Button?

This many —>
That’s all-around glamour puss and South Phillie’s foinest, James Joseph Cialella Jr., who brought the stupid — but no date, we’re pretty sure — to a holiday showing of the Brad Pitt damned-near-three-hour age-a-palooza at the Riverview Theatre.

Seems everything was going along all nice and sweet-like when some dad-son combo started in with the chitchat.

“How’d they do that with his face?”
“SHHHH!”

“Why’s he short like a baby but old man in the face?”
* throws popcorn*
“Hey! SHADDAP already, fuckers!” 

“Is Angelina in this movi …”
” That’s IT, dickweed! I am glocked, locked and READY TO ROCK!!”
::: CHK-CHK :::

Cialella opened fire and dad took one in the arm as frightened moviegoers made a mad dash for the exits.
Then, in true double-douche thumbsucker psychopath fashion, Cialella sat back down and continued to watch the movie.

He is now charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault, and weapons violations.

Ahhhh, the holidays …

Seriously though? This kinda reminds me of that scene in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days … you know the one —  when Andie and Ben are at the movies and the guy behind them gets all ‘shut yer lady up’ and she gets all ‘you can’t talk to me like that’ and they all get all ‘let’s take it out to the hallway’ where Mr. Pissypants Movieguy punches Ben out and gets all ‘I’m going back inside to watch Sleepless In Seattle … Don’t anybody screw with me!’

Yup – JUST like that … except for the shrapnel and gunplay and IV of lactated ringers and all … mmm hmm!

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Oy Veh Too close for comfort

1 Comment

  • 1. MommyCity  |  December 28, 2008 at 7:27 pm

    WoW! I mean… I heard this was an amazingly good movie but… Wow! Maybe he was ticked off cuz he knew if he missed more than 30 seconds of the movie he wouldn’t know what was going on. Total waste of a $30 movie ticket.


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