All Aboard!!!

December 15, 2008 at 4:07 pm 2 comments

britney-crazy-meterLa Cheeto is back on the crazy train, y’all!

Fed up with dear ol’ dad calling the shots, Britney Spears pulled on her full-figure fishnets, lit up a ‘mommy lolly’ and set about to planify and methodologize a strategy chock full of lunatic logic and crackhead hillbilly nonsense she believes will prove to Pappy Spears just how together her shit really is.
::: WHEEeeeeeeee! :::

The plan calls for the liquidation of depreciative assets and consolidation of positive accruals into a high-yie … HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Just kidding!!!

She’s going on a hunger strike!
::: mmmmmmMATURE! :::

According to ‘a source,’ the plan is for Brit Brit to eat one teensy meal a day for as long as it takes to:
1.) suffer a stroke due to frapp withdrawal
2.) restore the proper hair-to-face grease ratio
3.) clear a spot on the mantle for her Role Model of the Year award
4.) show solidarity for other ‘oppressed peoples’ of the world
5.) prove that no amount of money or therapy or intervention or restraining devices can pull her brain back from the brink of imbalance

“Ah lahks me sum meximelts en Mickee Deez en all, but Ah bet yew if Ah’yuz tuh shut mah frapp hole lowng uhnuf Ah’d looz that theurd fat roll – then dahdee’ll see jess how matoower Ah am en he’yull let me dew wut Ah wohntz!”
::: TOOT TOOOOOT!!! :::

Personally, I think ya gotta hope for Number Two up there, but I don’t actually care if this dopey eating disorder deal works out or if big daddy throws his hands in the aii-yuher and waves ’em like he jess don’ cay-yuher, ’cause sooner or later the inevitable will happen and she’ll devolve quite naturally into the schizophrenic trailer park psycho she was destined to become …

… and that kind of entertainment is just good, clean fun for the whole family!!


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Daily Caylee Crazy Ute Forecasts Doom


  • 1. this buddy of mine  |  December 15, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    “Womanizer, womanizer, your a womanizer baby”

    Damn she is hot!

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  December 15, 2008 at 8:00 pm

    is that what they’re calling it these days?

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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