Auburn hires Gene Chizik

December 13, 2008 at 11:29 pm 15 comments

I … I … oh fuckitalltohellandbackyoustupidassgoddamnedmotherfuckers … I’m just gonna start drinking …


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A Lite Reid In case you didn’t know


  • 1. Ray Fincher  |  December 14, 2008 at 1:05 am

    What the hell are we doing hiring a coach that is 5 & 19 in two seasons at Iowa St. We interviewed several proven coaches so how did our athletic director make such a decision. Did we go for the coach with the worst record and who probably would cost less money. I have supported Auburn thru good and bad times for 40 years but this decision makes me consider supporting another college. Shouldn’t we consider drug testing our athletic director as he had to be on a mind altering drug to make such a dumb ass decision.

  • 2. MommyCity  |  December 14, 2008 at 1:25 am

    Just wondering….. did spell check underline that word….?

  • 3. this buddy of mine  |  December 14, 2008 at 2:33 am

    why do you hate the jews?

  • 4. curious  |  December 14, 2008 at 4:13 am

    does doug barfield come to mind? what are they thinking? i’m a bama fan and i think this was STUPID!

  • 5. writechicpress  |  December 14, 2008 at 4:21 am

    I don’t hate Jews, buddy. I’ve read the whole pamphlet on Kickass Jewish Athletes and Coaches.

  • 6. lifeisacookie  |  December 14, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Buddy — Chizik may be one of my tribe but he is NOT the man for Auburn. Ray Fincher said it right and you KNOW he’s right ‘cuz Curious agrees with us!
    Curious — are we finally having our ‘moment’???
    XOXO sweetness!

    Auburn forever — Chizik NEVER

  • 7. lifeisacookie  |  December 14, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    It didn’t Mommy — what do you know about that!!
    I think I’m gonna CafePress some T-shirts with Chizik’s picture and the new official Cookie Chizik Motto:
    fuckitalltohellandbackyoustupidassgoddamnedmotherfuckers … get back to me when you hire a HEAD coach!

  • 8. curious  |  December 14, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    maybe the dumbest move in college football that i can remember. i would love to see the press conf/introduction of coach chizik. i can see it now.

    “we did an extensive search of the top coaches in the nation and are proud to introduce to you, the new head football coach at api, gene chizik”.
    two people clap and the atmosphere is like an amway meeting in smiley ct.
    “i am proud to be the new football coach here at api. i feel i bring something to the table no other coach has brought in 30 yrs, and that is a losing record. i also couldn’t sell my house when i left before so that saved the institute a few hundred grand”
    a small crowd breaks into the press conference and tries to strangle bobby lowder and jimmy rane. jimmy chokes on a chicken bone and bobby is able to to sell 3 pieces of commercial property to the upset protesters.
    a reporter asks the burning question. “what in the hell were the trustees thinking when they ran off the best coach in api history and hired s loser?
    the press conference ends abruptly…

    i have a soft spot for auburn. my uncle played there and i won a couple awards at pat dye’s football camps. i still love to eat at Veggies To Go. Tombos when i was starving. spent lots of looooong lunch breaks at Mr Gattis watching little rascals. Tiger Pies was always my favorite. hated the hungry hunter and the supper club. i would rather be at the exit inn /rodeo club. i lived in gentilly trailer park for a while. moons deli over mamma goldbergs anyday.

    never hated auburn, i just grew up loving the bear and george wallace. “segregation today, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever!”

  • 9. lifeisacookie  |  December 14, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    Curious — you make a wonderful and impassioned post there and then you torpedo it with that last graph.
    And you know Wallace went to his grave HATING the fact that he did that and he would have voted for my boyfriend if he’d lived to see that day …

    But as for Auburn — it has been my true love well before the day I heard those three beautiful words (a full scholarship) and got all matriculatey …
    With Chizik driving the bus I believe we are fucked up the ass with our pants on, which makes for one long and painful ride …

  • 10. writechicpress  |  December 14, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    Poor Chizik. My man was reading comments to me off the blogs. It went something like–


    *Idiocy. Total, utter, complete idiocy.

    *I am sick. This is the worst thing that can happen to the Auburn family. Good job JJ, should have called Mal, and asked him to help.

    *He is a LOSER. He is not what we need at Auburn now. His hiring is not supported by the majority of fans. HE is doomed for failure.

  • 11. curious  |  December 14, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    wallace was a family friend and he did regret that day at the university. heavy ploitical pressure led him to it. and it was the black vote that kept him in office in his later years.

    i know you rememberthe places i mentioned. nothing was a better cure for the late night munchies than a tiger pie and if everything else was closed we would ride over to the torch 85 truck stop. i even remember eating at the torch 80 truckstop between auburn and tuskeegee

  • 12. lifeisacookie  |  December 14, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    Oh I definitely remember Tiger Pies — I worked for them when I was there!
    And Guthries? MMmmmmmmm

  • 13. curious  |  December 14, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    my head is still foggy. i drove to york, pa yesterday morning and back last night. it was a 17 hr trip. but i did bring home a wicked sweet 1939 kay upright bass fiddle. very rare find. 🙂

    what happen to tiger pies? they used to be across from kroger then they moved and later i heard they closed.

    check out this article on chizik from an iowa state perspective

  • 14. lifeisacookie  |  December 15, 2008 at 11:04 am

    Thanks Big C – that column is dead-on balls accurate!

  • 15. WAR EAGLE! « Life Is A Cookie  |  October 4, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    […] I’m not saying I’ve changed my original opinion about Gene Chizik but, I’m warming to the idea of him a little more […]

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