Sticking it to the (little) man

December 10, 2008 at 6:17 pm 11 comments

You may not have noticed — what with Oprah bringin’ the chunk again, media giant Tribune Company goin’ all brokeass brokey broke and the total hilarity of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich‘s comically crazy crookery landing him in a big ol’ pile of sweaty bail money and all — but there’s about to be some positive news coming out of Chicago.
::: Woo hoo!!!! Go Chi-Town, go Chi-Town, ishyaberfday, go Chi-Town!!! :::

See, the town’s little factory that couldn’t – Republic Windows and Doors – had this practice of pullin’ the ostrich and being all hush-hush about the utter abyss of financial fuckedupedness they were in. Apparently, they’d been doing it for quite a while and seemed pretty content with that status quo because it looked like no one would ever notice.
::: Strateeegerie! :::

bankerAnd, you know, they just might have been able to stick with it if they hadn’t been forced to shut all their shit down last Friday when the scrooges at Bank of America stopped rolling around naked in their massive 25 billion dollar bailout pile long enough to cancel the company’s entire line of credit. 
::: Say Scooter – wasn’t Friday also the same day BOA shareholders approved the Merril Lynch merger, effectively making Bank of America the country’s largest bank with $2.7 trillion in assets??????? hmmmm :::

So here we are today, watching hundreds of laid-off factory workers go through Day Five of protesting the bank’s ‘All for me, none for you’ policy in an effort to get someone wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase full of Benjamins to pinky swear they really are gonna get the severance and accrued vacation pay they’re owed …

… and watching bank reps, company brass and union bosses enter Day Two of trying to figure out how diffuse this bigass PR bomb.
::: And just in time for the holidays, too!! :::

And the positive?
I bet it’s over today.

I bet they don’t make it to Day Three ’cause, you know, it’s just hella hard for execs to negotiate surrounded by angry riff raff who get pissy when the caterer delivers lunch to everyone but them.

Yup – I bet we have a deal on the table by sundown!

And, not for nothing but that would be one big handful of NIFTY because it would mean it only took them nearly as long as it took God to make the world (and Bush to get water to the Superdome) to repairify and solutionize this hot mess.

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Item for daynote? Not NPR!!!


  • 1. MommyCity  |  December 11, 2008 at 1:43 am

    Since all this stuff just totally boggles my mind, I’m not going to comment on the content of the post. Instead, I shall tip my thimble to you for your super duper word-maker-upper skillz. (Stupid thimble. I hate being the thimble.)

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  December 11, 2008 at 1:51 am

    nu werdz r kewl!

    I had to go back and edit this reply — I’ve read your stuff MommyCity — you can’t hide! You are WAY educated about stuff and shit — don’t play!

  • 3. curious  |  December 11, 2008 at 2:54 am

    uh oh cookie. i bet you wouldn’t believe i bank with bank of america? they are actually the best bank i have ever banked with. no complaints here.

    maybe you and i just weren’t meant to be. 😦 but it’s fun to think we might have been 🙂

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  December 11, 2008 at 2:57 am

    So you’re a hot piece of conglomerate conservative manmeat then?

  • 5. Type Writer  |  December 11, 2008 at 3:02 am

    (Stupid thimble. I hate being the thimble.)

    What’s your favourite Monopoly piece, MommyCity? (I like the car or the hat 🙂 )

  • 6. Type Writer  |  December 11, 2008 at 3:04 am

    For the record, I too have a relationship with Bank of America (I have a credit card from them.) I need to drop them, though, as they’re a bunch of hard-asses 🙂


  • 7. lifeisacookie  |  December 11, 2008 at 3:04 am

    I call TOPHAT … oh wait, that’s top hat … damned wine!!!!

  • 8. lifeisacookie  |  December 11, 2008 at 3:06 am

    Nooooo — you do, TW? Really?
    (You and Big C have something in common … just sayin’ is all …)

    But, you know, maybe you can set to work at trying to melt their cold, dead corporate heart!
    I totally support that!

  • 9. MommyCity  |  December 11, 2008 at 3:58 am

    That’s right! nu werdz R kewl!

    Hmm.. my favorite piece? I like the uhm… the candlestick. No wait, wrong game. Uhm… The car always gets a flat. The top hat gives me hat hair. The thimble’s just too sissy! I guess I like the horsey… he leaves behind all sorts of presents for those who follow me. =D

  • 10. curious  |  December 11, 2008 at 4:25 am

    don’t forget that the so calles hard ass corporate types keep most of us employed. not many people have what it takes to do their jobs. the self made millionaire works an average of 72 hrs a week

  • 11. APpalled? « Life Is A Cookie  |  December 17, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    […] 2008 So I was drinki, uhh, talking with a friend last night about the recent employee standoff at Republic Windows and Doors and we were all ‘Power to the People’ and ‘Stick it to the Man’ and […]

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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