It’s that time again!
Not to be outdone by his Hey Mr. Postman March Pardon-Palooza, outgoing sad-excuse-for-a-world-leader George W. Bush forgave more sinners yesterday when he handed out his last batch of ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ cards.
Among those thrown a legal lifesaver are:
1.) Richard Culpepper of Mahomet, Illinois who was convicted of making false statements to the government.
::: No, I am not plotting to overthrow the government and that is not a 20-foot container of C-4 buried under a bunch of hay in my barn … :::
2.) Carey C. Hice Sr. of Travelers Rest, South Cackalackee, who was convicted of income tax evasion.
::: WHAT?!? Tax evasion is sooo last year! :::
4.) Paul Julian McCurdy of Sulphur, Oklahoma, who was sentenced for misapplication of bank funds.
::: Kind of like Citigroup … :::
and, my personal favorite:
5.) Leslie Owen Collier of Charleston, Missouri, who was convicted of violating the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act.
Apparently Collier’s preferred method of getting rid of annoying animals was to leave them a burger buffet spiked with poison and among the many animals murdered by his method just happened to be the most revered symbol of our nation’s freedom … well, actually three of the most revered symbols of our nation’s freedom.
::: ruh roh … :::
Oh but hey, if you can’t forgive someone for carelessly offing our national emblem for their own convenience, who can you forgive?
“Tis the season!
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