Yes, I DO want extra fries with that miracle

November 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm 2 comments


Well pass the peanut butter and toss me a Twinkie — there’s hope for my hips on the horizon!

“Scientists hunting for a fat-burning drug have a new candidate that may help keep extra weight off, even on a high-fat diet.”
::: cornbread + bacon = fatty go bye bye?!? Get OUT!!! :::

miracleOh sweet light of heaven above – I’ve waited my whole life for this moment — to be rewarded for my complete committment and utter devotion to sloth and gluttony!

Don’t laugh! This is serious! It’s a lifestyle not everyone can handle. You have to want it bad and answer tough questions every day!
Is there such a thing as too much butter?
Why can’t I fry everything in pork fat and cheese?
Is meat dipped in chocolate really a bad thing?

And now I know the answer:
WHO CARES!!
:::: fat pill, oh fat pill – I pledge my love to thee … :::

highfatmouseUnfortunately, it’ll be a while before I can suck down sausage gravy with wild abandon. The drug’s only in the ‘experimental’ phase.
::: Let me be a tester!! I have LOTS of experience with ‘chemical’ experimentation!!!! :::

It’s called SRT1720 and has only been tested on mice, but when Mickey and Minnie were given a high dose of SRT1720 every day for three months, they didn’t gain weight on a high-fat diet.
::: so. Damned. EXCITED!!! Ahhhh!!!!! :::

What’s more, it boosted their metabolism, increased endurance and strength AND didn’t make the mice go mental of eff with regular digestion.
::: giveittomenow!!! GIVEITTOMENOW!!!  GIVEITTOMENOW!!!!! :::

Everybody’s soon-to-be new bff is being developed by wonderful people I want to shower with love, doughnuts and chocolate milk who work for Sirtris Pharmaceuticals, a GlaxoSmithKline company.

Along with my bellybutton, I think I just found my next stock purchase …

Advertisements

Entry filed under: blogging, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, life, News, odd, Politics, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Will Paloma be a problem? It’s good to be Eliot Spitzer

2 Comments

  • 1. MommyCity  |  November 8, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    I am shocked….. and dismayed……… and oh so very excited!!! Let us pray that the instructions on the bottle say “Take 10 a day with 1 lb. of chocolate. Warning: Eating vegetables with this drug may cause horrid side effects”

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  November 8, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Dare to dream, girlfriend — dare to dream!!!!



Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: