The Family Way?
If I wasn’t the spitting image of my mother and didn’t have all my father’s mannerisms, sometimes I’d SWEAR I was adopted!
I was raised in Alabama, so you might think you could guess the political leanings of my crew lickety split – but then I’d remind you that both my parents were born and raised in New York, that my dad’s Jewish and my mom was told she could ‘no longer receive communion’ when she married my dad (back in the olden times when they still pulled that backward-ass exclusionary shit) and so you’d be changing your mind about those political leanings …
… until I reminded you that it was the Air Force that relocated the fam to Babbalamma when I was around 3-snotnosed-years-old and that my folks (and sibs) never left — which would have you reassessing those politcal leanings one more time …
… and you’d be right.
They’re all Republicans.
ALL of them – and I think they’re trying to convert the horse and dogs too!
We’re related and I love ’em and all, but I don’t understand it.
I don’t hold with it — but I don’t hold it against them, either.
::: they live in Ala-fucking-BAMA — what are you gonna do, right? :::
They, on the other hand, do it a little differently.
Disagree and it’s a heaping helping of Hillbilly Whup Ass for you!
::: Behave, Cleetus! :::
“That makes me want to vomit,” one sibling said about my vote.
::: HAHAHAHA – vomi … wait. What?!? Like it was a fucking surprise?!? Like it caught you off-fucking-guard?!? :::
“I just don’t understand your values. Do you even have any anymore?” from another relly.
For the record – I DO!
I totally value two-for-one Happy Hour deals, Costco coupons on Cuervo and even nifty little treats like the shit-fer-brainz opinions of the ill-informed!!
But I’m progressive like that.
It’s just how I roll – but I don’t think I’m welcome for Thanksgiving anymore …
Entry filed under: Gossip.