Southern progress?

October 15, 2008 at 2:46 pm 44 comments

You know it’s gonna be a long day when the first thing you read is a tale of retarded racist redneckery so egregious you fall out of your chair and land squareass on the Pergo under the Mac.
::: I did. I’m ok. Thanks for asking. :::

Today’s tale comes from landlords Wilber and Julie Williams – a couple who help put the ASS in Tallassee, Alabama one good ol’ boy day at a time.

These two twits sling stupid so well they got the attention of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), which charged the degenerate duo with violating a nifty little piece of legislation we like to call the Fair Housing Act after they forced a white couple to move from a rented home because they were seen …
… doing drugs in the den?
::: nope – try again! :::
… pimping ho’s out the house?
::: nuh uh – try again!! :::
… selling babies off the back porch?
::: Negatory!!!! Try again!!!! :::
… talking to a black couple in their front yard?
::: DING DING DING — we have a winner!!!! :::

The whole mess began back in February when the cankerous couple rented a house to Melissa Jones and her family. Things were going along just fine until one day in May when the Frankenpair did a drive-by at the exact moment that *gasp*  BLACK PEOPLE were visiting with Jones!!!
::: How shocking in these modern times and all – right?  Oh wait … it’s Tallassee … I think they’re still holding out for a Confederate win … :::

According to Jones’ statement to HUD authorities, her bias bitch of a landlord later called her demanding, “Those people need to leave. I don’t want them on my property.”

One week later Judgmental Julie is said to have called the renters again — only this time her phone conversation was recorded.
::: I you, technology!!!! :::

The phone transcript is said to show Julie Williams saying, “If y’all want to have African-Americans to visit, we’re going to ask you to move … this has never happened with any renters that we’ve had … It’s not fine on our property.”
::: someone’s got her Klan robe in a BIG ol’ twisty bunch!! :::

The case goes on to state that Jones told her landlord she wasn’t just friends with black people — but that she had family members (bluud tahz, y’all) who were of mixed ethnic background. She says she was then told to “go ahead and move before the rent’s due for July.”
::: K …K …K’mon! Really?:::

Melissa Jones told HUD authorities that the McCainiac called again in July to pressure her into moving, telling her, “You should live in the projects if you want to interact with those people. I will sell the house if I have to in order to get you out. I don’t care if you made a complaint to HUD, you have to move.”
::: yew kin hav mah kohled ded hart wen yew prah et frum mah kohled ded bohdee :::

The couple moved the first of September.
If a U.S. Administrative Law judge finds the depraved defendants guilty he can award damages for actual loss, emotional distress, humiliation, and loss of civil rights.
::: YE$ :::
The judge can also add civil penalties and a federal district court judge can award punitive damages if the defendants are found guilty.
::: YE$$$$$$$ :::

Let’s all lift Melissa up, Up, UP in prayer so that she may receive actual, real, hardly-practiced-in-the-deep-South, 21st Century-style justice and not just some nastyass rotting doublewide, a pair of wooden dentures and a tattered Farmer’s Almanac.

Can’t hurt to hope …



Entry filed under: blogging, entertainment, Gossip, life, News, odd, Politics, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

A little lame duck with your Italian? Boob vs. booby bar: Your tax dollars at work


  • 1. noni  |  October 15, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    I thought you were making that up until I clicked that link. That’s for real — that is amazing to me. I am never going to Alabama after reading your blog!

  • 2. beyatch  |  October 15, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    ALABAMA IS FULL OF SUCKY MEAN INBRED BACKWARD PEOPLE … just like everywhere else except … worse!

  • 3. Me  |  October 15, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    In a roundabout way, I thank people like this landlord for keeping so many other away from our state under the belief that this is how everything is here in Alabama. So there’s a silver lining to these bigots, at least.

    It’s a convoluted PR method, but it works.

  • 4. curious  |  October 15, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    i lived in tallassee for years and a lot of people are stuck in the past but there are lots of great people there too. i am a little suspicious that they referred to their tenant’s visitors an african-americans if they are really that bigoted. if they are guilty then they should be prosecuted but it looks like they have already been convicted here. not suprising to me considering this is not real journalism but a bunch of biased hacks… have a great day 🙂

  • 5. lifeisacookie  |  October 15, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    I’m guessing the news station that carried this story commented out the vernacular that was probably used by the landlords to describe the people they didn’t care for — but how knows, right?
    I’m curious – Curious — why you’d assume anything remotely linked to journalism would be going on up in here?

    Hells to the no – but you have yourself a great, confederate day, ya hear?!

  • 6. Type Writer  |  October 15, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    Oh, Cookie is way too modest when it comes to her skills as an ink-stained wretch, but Curious is probably trying to compensate for some, erm, shortcomings with his attempt to trash her blog…

    Also, to the previous posters: Cookie wasn’t implying all people and places in Alabama were bad. If she was, she’d be in a heap of trouble when she goes home for Thanksgiving 🙂

    Type Writer AKA The Oreo

  • 7. lifeisacookie  |  October 15, 2008 at 11:57 pm

    Oh you outed me, TW!

  • 8. curious  |  October 16, 2008 at 1:02 am

    like i said, nothing of value to be found here. especially from a bunch of welfare check cashing barrak hussein obama supporters. at least obama will save money on the whitehouse menu. fried chicken is much cheaper than steak. hell i love fried chicken too. maybe i can be president one day. have a good day 🙂

  • 9. Type Writer  |  October 16, 2008 at 3:15 am

    Hey Curious, your response just proved my point about your shortcomings, since it was far less intelligent than your original ranting. I have higher standards for racist claptrap, and frankly, boy, yours doesn’t cut it. Sorry if you’re not smart enough to get as good a job as this black guy, but maybe I could set up some sort of correspondence course for you. I’ll even use simple words…

    Type Writer AKA The Oreo

  • 10. Type Writer  |  October 16, 2008 at 3:16 am

    p.s. Cookie, your quality can’t be hidden 🙂

  • 11. curious  |  October 16, 2008 at 4:12 am

    hahaha! my only shortcoming will be my wallet when obama increases your welfare check. and don’t forget that the people accused of violating missy jones civil rights are only accused and not guilty. what will you have to say if they are found innocent? probably not much because your ignorance will prevail. i know i am a little sarcastic and abrasive and i usually don’t care about other’s feelings but i hope the allegations are false and this never happened. if it did happen then i hope the williams get their punishment. btw, does anyone here work for ACORN? i need to register to vote again, and again, and again…

  • 12. lifeisacookie  |  October 16, 2008 at 10:44 am

    I don’t know what the HUD case will bring about but anyone caught on tape referring to people of a any ethnicity separate from their own as ‘those people’ is a racist.
    Sorry, that’s just easy fact there, hon.

  • 13. curious  |  October 21, 2008 at 1:52 am

    so let’s talk turkey here. why do you think racism is alive and well, not only in the south but across america? why do whites hate blacks/blacks hate whites, whites hate hispanics, blacks hate jews, and every combination imaginable? is it fear? forced integration? ignorance? what is it?

  • 14. lifeisacookie  |  October 21, 2008 at 10:34 am

    Excellent questions, Curious! Excellent. I’d be lying out the patootie if I said I had the answer but I do think a lot of it is rooted in fear. People have an innate fear of ‘different’. Some folks mature out of it but a lot don’t.
    Then, there are historical prejudices that are passed down for generations – making them so much a part of some folks’ personal makeup that, to them, their behavior is considered normal inside their circle but to a wider audience it is shocking.
    I think the causes are many and varied and what keeps it going is just as complex.
    But asking the why is great because maybe (big maybe) that may lead to a what (can we do about it) 😉

    BTW — what ARE you doing up at 1:52 in the morning? Doesn’t Curious need beauty rest?!?

  • 15. curious  |  October 21, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    sleep is a waste of time and i usually have side jobs going after work. takes a while to unwind so i fall asleep in front of the tv and the mouse on the arm of my recliner.

    i agree a lot is fear and ignorance but i have thought about this for years. i worked in a cotton mill with an elderly gentleman in the mid 80’s who was born in the 20’s. he was raised in a totally segregated society but prevailed against all the odds. he never made more than $10 hr but he provided well for his family, was thankful for his many blesings and never heard a bad word come out of his mouth. he taught me a lot of technical skills i use till this day. he was well respected by his coworkers. no telling what he was worth because he never wasted a penny.
    he used to talk to me about race relations and why so many young black men were failing. he blamed the education system. when he went to school he said the boys were very competetive in the classroom. their teachers raised the bar because they knew it was the only way out of poverty. most everyone in the class was basically poor so there was not much envy or resentment.
    i know a lot of things happened in the late 60’s but he said he noticed a huge change in his kids when the schools integrated. his younger son became more socially competetive and his grades failed as a result. he obsessed over what he didn’t have as opposed to his older son who graduated before integration and went on to graduate college with honors.
    i think we still have a lot of work to do and it has to be a two way street. respect is something you earn through your good works and not through intimidation. i think we need to be better examples to the next generation to show them they do have a chance. i think the jesse jacksons and al sharptons don’t want equality because they profit from inequality. both are revrends but when is the last time you heard one of them say that prayer is the answer. i say prayer is powerful and let’s pray for everyone. i believe in the govt. giving help to the needy but it shouldn’t create a class of financial dependants.
    there is a way out if you really want out. i financed my college with a football scholarship and the gi bill. the military is hiring every day.

  • 16. Type Writer  |  October 21, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    I guess Bush invading Iraq was his way of creating jobs for Americans? Perhaps we’ve been hasty to judge him a failure 🙂

    TW AKA The Oreo

    “If you’re out of luck, you’re out of work
    We could send you to Johannesburg”
    — Elvis Costello
    “Oliver’s Army”

  • 17. lifeisacookie  |  October 21, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    I hear what you’re saying Curious and I think it’s always good to get the first-hand personal experiences of those around us. But let me ask you — given what you know of the gentleman who taught you so much (work skill and life skill it seems) — what do YOU think is the answer – not to the ‘why’ but to the ‘what’ (do we do about it) on a personal level.

    And, on a different note — where was your football scholarship? I’m just curious — I maintain that all ARE welcome here — no matter what — but the welcome can be a bit cushier if, say, you know why they roll Toomer’s Corner 😉

  • 18. curious  |  October 21, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    if the economy is so bad then how come i work my regular 40 hrs a week and can still get all the side work i want? it’s because i am willing to work and i ain’t looking for a welfare check. don’t forget to hit your knees every night and be thankful that America is the greates nation in the history of the world and our armed forces are to thank for keeping us that way. but maybe you hit your knees every night to feed your meth habit. go on and hate america but don’t forget it gives you greater opportunities to succeed, or to fail in your case, than any other country on earth. go to russia and speak out against putin, or kim in korea or take your homosexual ass to iran and see what happens.

  • 19. curious  |  October 21, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    my previous post was to oreo.
    i went to livingston university and i’m afraid i know why they roll toomer’s corner. maybe you and i know each other. i could smell auburn from my house growing up.

    my answer you can’t legislate morality. we nees less hatred on all sides and time will take care of a lot of that. but as long as we can look at others and see something different there wil be some prejudice.
    perception is a lot of the problem too. when i drive through tuskeegee i can’t help but think of the corruption in that city. where does the money go from victoryland or loserland as i call it. who runs that town? why aren’t the black leaders in tusheegee and elsewhere demanding excellence from their youth instead of mandates and quotas? why do we walk by and watch someone get abused or beat up and look the other way? why don’t we get involved and change the action of our communities? where are the role models? johnny ford? alvin holmes? the universtiy is the only thing tuskeegee has going for it. it’s sad because it is a beautiful town and lots of good people there.

  • 20. lifeisacookie  |  October 21, 2008 at 6:02 pm

    Well — on not loving America … critcizing a bad government doesn’t mean you don’t love the country that bad government is governing.
    I think our current administration will be judged historically to be one of the worst (if not THE worst) ever. I think it’s ok to say that, I think citizens have an obligation to speak out against that which they believe to be wrong.

    Granted, I speak out on a LOT — but I’m a hyper-opinionated beyatch fused to her soapbox! 😉

    On Auburn — do I detect sarcasm and disdain for the fine institution in your words??

  • 21. curious  |  October 21, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    no hatred toward auburn. i have friends who went there lol. are you an aub?

    i realize W is no ronald reagan but he has been a lame duck since ’06 and the dems have controlled congress. harry reid and nancy pelosi have dropped the ball in the last two years. where is their leadership? the economy has done well until the last year or so. and let’s not forget that things were much worse durring the carter administration. 18% interest rates and almost double the unemployment.

  • 22. lifeisacookie  |  October 21, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    Let’s be clear — when I say the current administration, I’m not limiting that to the White House. I’m an equal-opportunity basher here!
    I think wholesale changes are needed to addresses several issues, but the economy doing well until the last year is symptomatic of a larger problem and that is that we don’t address potential issues until they become massive problems.
    Who ever thought subprime mortgages, for example, were a good idea is smoking some serious rock!! There was only one thing going to come from such idiocy and we’re seeing the beginnings of it now.

  • 23. curious  |  October 21, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    no doubt we are in a pickle but i don’t see obama or mccain as a solutoin. it is going to take some serious budget cuts and not a bunch of bailouts to correct the problem.

  • 24. lifeisacookie  |  October 21, 2008 at 10:16 pm

    The economic side is a huge concern — I read one economist who thinks neither has the right plan — I don’t know the answer either but at least we are all talking about it and looking for the solution — unfortunately, as soon as there’s any ease most folks will go back to their old habits — I’ve already seen it with gas prices easing up. ACK!

    When I rule the world ….

  • 25. curious  |  October 31, 2008 at 3:48 am

    what’s up cookie? getting a little too peaceful around here. i have an urge to offend someone hehe…

  • 26. lifeisacookie  |  October 31, 2008 at 10:50 am

    Curious!! Long time no hear!
    I felt a rant coming on yesterday but had to go with the Google memo hilarity instead …

    What will today bring?????

  • 27. curious  |  October 31, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    well for one thing today will bring a bunch of people behind masks to your front door demanding you give them what they want or else. then tuesday they will take their masks off and take what they want. get ready people, the dems will have a supermajority and things could be really bad.

    obama keeps saying that this is the worst economy since the great depression. he is a liar. but what else is new. we are better off today than 30 yrs ago under the carter administration which had double digit inflation, double digit unemployment and interest rates 3 times higher than today.
    the economy was doing very well until the dems took control of cngress.

    just an observation from a straight white guy who eats too damn much red meat.

  • 28. lifeisacookie  |  October 31, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    hmmmmmmmm …..

  • 29. Type Writer  |  October 31, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    get ready people, the dems will have a supermajority and things could be really bad.

    … as opposed to now, when everything’s so peachy…

    obama keeps saying that this is the worst economy since the great depression. he is a liar.

    If Obama’s lying about the economy, then so is the National Bureau of Economic Research, the government agency that makes the official call about when the economy is in recession. The NBER has indicated that the economic slowdown is the worst in 28 years…

    but what else is new. we are better off today than 30 yrs ago under the carter administration which had double digit inflation, double digit unemployment and interest rates 3 times higher than today.

    Interest rates were not three times higher than today’s under the Carter administration; nice try, though… But this recession is in its early days, give it time to run its course. BTW, the root cause of that recession was the same as this one: spending money on a pointless war of choice. Carter was hamstrung by all the spending on Vietnam done by Nixon and LBJ (over a billion in 1960s dollars) Whoever becomes president on Tuesday will be even more hamstrung by the trillion dollars spent on Iraq…

    the economy was doing very well until the dems took control of cngress.

    Even Republicans admit this administration has done a terrible job overall in managing this economy; you must be the last partisan left in America. I guess that’s good for Sarah Palin; it’ll make her feel better about her chances in 2012 if she gets a couple votes this time around…

    just an observation from a straight white guy who eats too damn much red meat.

    Don’t blame beef for your opinions, sir. I eat red meat too and it’s never caused to me say anything as crazy as this…


  • 30. curious  |  October 31, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    so who was the pres leading up to 28 yrs ago tw? and it’s not the worst economy since the great depression. i also blame repubs too because congress rubber stamped everything bush wanted and he vetoed nothing.

    now if the economy is so bad then how come people are standing in line at walmart to buy flat screen tv’s and not at the soup kitchens. maybe it’s the hurricaine katrina effect. from what i saw people were more interested in looting electronic stores than a grocery store.

    i can see the new presidential motorcade now. stretched hummers with 24″ gold wheels and low rider limos. fried chicken and collard greens and rev wright asking God to damn america. air force-1 will be changed to soul plane. free gold teeth for everyone. pit bulls will guarding the white house. marty king must be rolling in his grave after all his hard work and seeing the thuggery that has taken over his peoples.

    now i’m wanting me some yard bird. free at last, free at last. im headed to thomas reed’s chicken shack.

  • 31. writechicpress  |  December 4, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    OMG! I cannot believe I missed your very fine treatment of this TallASSee tale. Brilliant writing! I’m in Alabama; so, I have a special, up-close and personal appreciation for this ass-hattery.

    My young cracker offspring seemed to be the only lily-complected budding democrats in their school and they caught (and dished out) a little hell for it.

  • 32. lifeisacookie  |  December 4, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    You’re a Heart of Dixie gal? Small world! I grew up in Shelby County 🙂

  • 33. writechicpress  |  December 4, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    I’m in Hoova! (hoover for non-locals 😉

  • 34. lifeisacookie  |  December 4, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    Yes — small world indeed!

    One sib lived in Hoover while going to Cumberland for law school.
    My peeps are all around you — some are probably in the Galleria RIGHT NOW!

  • 35. writechicpress  |  December 4, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    I can see the Galleria from my house!…ok, from the end of my street…standing on a house. My kid works at the Galleria, too. And her friends and so on…

  • 36. lifeisacookie  |  December 4, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    Get outta TOWN!
    I have to wonder — reading your ‘about’ section if we may know each other — or some of the same peeps …

    Hey — is Ham Puff still on the air up there? That’s what we called Pam Huff growing up …

  • 37. writechicpress  |  December 5, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    Totally. I’ve got you linked properly. We’ll figure it out.

    Ham Puff used to be my boss. You may weep for me now. 😉 She and her Double DD cans are still crowding the anchor desk and the tv screens in these parts.. And she still doesn’t know how to say democratic. She’s married to democRAT.

  • 38. lifeisacookie  |  December 5, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    She’s still on the air? How old must she be by now?!? Is she really like 4 feet tall??

  • 39. writechicpress  |  December 5, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    Aw, yeah baby. She’s on the air. She’s like late 50’s. Her boobs are 3ft. long, but her big ol’ head sits atop, and that’s like 2 ft. of head. So that’s about 5 feet.

  • 40. lifeisacookie  |  December 5, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    I just spit coffee all over my keyboard reading that description … AWESOME!!!

  • 41. writechicpress  |  December 5, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    One time, a bra maker in Vestavia Hills totally called the newsroom out of the blue and offered to reign in the fury of her bosom. She was pissed. As if the fury could be contained…

  • 42. lifeisacookie  |  December 5, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    She should have taken him up on it! I bet she has to sling those babies over a shoulder to tie her shoes!

  • 43. writechicpress  |  December 5, 2008 at 7:22 pm


  • 44. curious  |  January 27, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.

%d bloggers like this: