Family Values

August 26, 2008 at 3:00 pm 1 comment

Oh man, why didn’t we know about this before the school year started – it would have solved EVERYTHING!

Children of the Cornhusker State must be some kind of hellish other-worldly breed of trouble because officials there got together and passed a law that totally bypasses the ‘rents and helps the rest of us break free of the burden of brattiness.
::: Thank you Nebraska geniuses!! :::

The law, which took effect on July 18, says: “No person shall be prosecuted for any crime based solely upon the act of leaving a child in the custody of an employee on duty at a hospital licensed by the state of Nebraska.”

So babbling babies and crying crumbsnatchers (up to the utterly amazing age of 19) can LEGALLY be abandoned without their parents’ consent or knowledge!
::: it’s not ‘abandoning’ if they’re little assholes though, right? :::

Suck it, brats – MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

No more makeshift cul de sac skateboard park!
::: this ain’t the X games, kiddo! :::
No more acned pubescents coppin’ sidewalk squats!!
::: get some Proactiv, Paulita! :::
No more high school dropouts selling fake magazine subscriptions!!!
::: I’m not supporting your dope habit ANYMORE if you won’t share, you little shit! :::

Twisted sisters unite!
WE don’t hafta take it!
::: YAY Nebraska! :::

This is such good news because, as Labor Day weekend approaches and the neighbors’ kids get out of control school – WE now have options!

When the squealing and screaming become too much to bear, break out the slipknot, strap their whiny heinies to the luggage rack and head to the (mid)West!



Entry filed under: blogging, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, life, News, odd, Politics, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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