No nekkidness in smalltown Georgia

August 1, 2008 at 2:10 pm 3 comments

Officials in the ‘city’ of Lavonia, Georgia got together and bought themselves a strip club!
::: bow chicka bow bow ::: 

“We bought it to get rid of it, bottom line,” city manager Gary Fesperman said this week after the sale was final.
::: bow chic … what!! ::: 

The Lavonians shelled out nearly 1 million smackeroos to buy – and shut down – Cafe Risque … but  they didn’t stop there!

After the purchase, they did what smalltown inbreds like to do the most — set shit on fire!!!
::: YEEHAW!!! :::

They gassed up at the local Texaco and set out to torch every last dadgum dirty sign for the club they could find.

“Those billboards did more damage to the community than the club did,” said Fesperman – totally thumbing his nose at the collateral cash that comes from coochie joints. You know – bakky and liquor sales (to get in a coochie frame of mind), gassin’ up the F-150 (to get to the coochie), some fine interstate dinin’ (tittays make ’em hungry! Stuckey’s, anyone?) and traffic tickets (those dollar bills could go for more than a new pair of Lucite heels, ya know!) 

And just who is gonna buy those pasties Lurleen makes so purty with her sequin deeezignz?!?
::: Way to think it through Fesperman! :::

I was feelin’ bad for all those sexually-frustrated long-haulers until I remembered something that apparently ol’ Fesperman doesn’t know!

::: Grammar-Time! :::

Synonym for ‘out-of-work small-town stripper’?

Road trip, anyone?

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Lone Star Hate Things that make you go ::: Hmmmmmmmm :::


  • 1. Erin  |  August 1, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    Cookie- I just started reading your blog this week…. Hilarious. Lurleen- I once knew a girl named LaStar. Seriously- where do these names come from.?!?!

  • 2. Type Writer  |  August 1, 2008 at 8:08 pm

    Hey Cookie, no road trip necessary; just go east to Boynton. They bought an old club a few years ago and demolished it; now they want to buy the club where they had the paintball attack a few months ago (did you ever hear that story?)


  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  August 2, 2008 at 1:10 am

    I think I did hear that one TW!

    Erin – I wish I knew where some of the names came from but it’s a MYSTERY! Belva will always be my favorite. 🙂

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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