July 29, 2008 at 4:08 pm 2 comments

Ok, so actress Maria ‘I’ve-Always-Been-Anti-Marriage’ Bello is engaged and isn’t that sweet and blah blah blah.

She and her “musician, artist and part-time waiter” boyfriend Bryn Mooser haven’t set an actual date or anything wedding-y like that – but they did confirm that they “fell in love over a sheer passion of politics, Africa and cryptozoology.”

::: So that’s what they’re calling it these days, huh … :::

Wouldn’t it be a slice of complete AWESOME if they set up a table at the reception with place cards for Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster and a couple of Hobbit hotties from the bridal party?
Good times!!!

You know who else I bet gets a special invite?
Jake Gyllenhaal.

Girlfriend may want to consult a therapist about what’s really going on in her heart of hearts because she is totally bumpin’ bootie with a poor man’s version of the Jakester.

Take away the crazy hair and they’re the Olsen twins!
… well, Olsens with peen …



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Bottom of the barrel: A first glimpse Oh God! What if it’s Dick Cheney!?!


  • 1. Matt  |  July 29, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    I was all excited about being on the guest list until I realized I’m going to be seated by two aliens from Area 51, the abominable snowman, and a stormtrooper. Ah well…

  • 2. Type Writer  |  July 29, 2008 at 10:21 pm

    Hey, don’t knock stormtroopers; those guys know how to party…

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