Oh, those cunning British linguists!

June 20, 2008 at 7:17 pm 3 comments


Political correctness policeA bunch of Brits have decided to do away with the much-overused business term ‘brainstorming’ as it may possibly, perhaps, plausibly but probably not cause distress to epileptics who are ‘so sensitive that anything with the word “brain” in it causes distress’.

Instead, they propose that we engage in ‘thought showering’ during meetings designed for idea generation.

Oh, well done, British Idiots!!!! Splendid idea!

But why cater to just the epileptics?!?
I can think of several other words and phrases to, umm, ‘modify’ for LOTS of other groups …

For instance, it is highly likely that use of the business cliché ‘brain dump’ might seriously offend the horrifically incontinent.
Can you just imagine  the shitstorm that  phrase has probably caused over the years? We can’t have that. So, instead of saying ‘brain dump’, I propose we ‘undergo an excretory thought-elimination process’.
You’re feelin’ me, right?

And while I’m at it — I know for a FACT that the closet-claustrophobe in the conjoining cubicle hates to be encouraged to ‘think outside the box’ but would much rather be encouraged to ‘cogitate externally from within’.
::: You didn’t think I cared, did you Martha!?! :::

Oooo, ooo — and Gaylord? On the third floor? I know Gay would much rather ‘thrust against the big, broad horizon’ than be urged to blandly ‘push the envelope’.
::: Gay TOTALLY feels me — my HR department can attest to that:::

Yup, I’ll back the Brits on this movement because I think it’s very important that, going forward moving in a future-advancing motion, we not drop the ball fell the orb on this issue but rather bring our A-game tranport a primary-vowel achievement when it comes to making the language of business corporate-centered vernacular appropriate for everyone pluralistically agreeable.

 Anything less just wouldn’t be civically rectitudinous!

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You say ‘plum tomato’ … Toemercial appeal?

3 Comments

  • 1. motoproponent  |  June 20, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    C’mon. You made up “rectitudinous” 😐

  • 2. earl the butcher  |  June 20, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    Also, motion to ban:

    COB (close of business)
    “getting on the same page”
    “talk about that offline”

    Ugh, dirty barren corporate landscape.

  • 3. lifeisacookie  |  June 20, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    I did not make up rectitudinous. It is like, TOTALLY a word, man!


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