May 20, 2008 at 10:04 am 4 comments

HillbillyOk, so TypeWriter thinks I’m going to be escorted back across state lines as soon as I cross into dear ol’ Abalamma, the Cackalackees or Sippumissee (he may be right 😉 … and someone going by the handle ‘hoss boss’ emailed the Cookie (but didn’t have the stones to post it) his negative thoughts about my phonetical writings.

Bew Hew …

I’ve come to terms with my twang, but I am cognizant of the fact that not many others understand it (or can read it) and it downright angers some.

Due to the various reactions, sideways looks and snide remarks I’ve received in my many years living outside the South**, I have mastered the art of toning it down when forced to do so. That does not apply to Life Is A Cookie. My blog, my rules, my lingo.


**Note: While Florida is located in the southern part of the United States, it is not now nor will it ever be considered part of THE South. That’s just the way it is. Period. Don’t even argue — not even you Panhandlers!

And so, with all of the previous garbage in mind, when the mood strikes or when I have nothing better to do, I will attempt an education of sorts regarding  the bastardized English that simply is the de facto language of the South – Suthuhneze.

Lesson One is a common contraction:
(Oh.Vair) [Oew-vahhr]

Used in a sentence:
Hay Ray, ken yew git me thaht wrahnch settin’ oh’vair? 

Similar contractions include:

Can you use them in a sentence?


Entry filed under: blogging, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, life, News, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

‘Bama to China: We feel you, dawgs So NOT bringing sexy back


  • 1. Type Writer  |  May 20, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Now, luk’air, missy, Ah knowed yuh to be a fine Suthern belle, who is well within hur rahts to tawk in Suthern deection all she wants… But Ah jus’ wunder wut yur kinfolk back in ‘Bama wood think about yur subjayct matter. Ah mean, wut if sum a dem were to git on the Double-Wide Web and read some of this stuff you’ve been wrahting? But seeing as how I’m a Caribbeyun boy instead of a good ol’ boy, I better switch to my deection before I git mah ass whupped:

    [Jamaican Patois:] Aye, lady, min’ how yu di dey ramp ‘pon de Intanet, ‘cuz nuff a dem peeple ‘ave computah nowadays, so dem cyan always read wha’ yu di dey ‘rite ’bout dem, seen? But chek mi if yu need a translation, still…

    [Queen’s English] Having lived in Orlando for almost three years, I would submit that anything north of I-4 should be considered part of the South, as there’s nothing Yankee about places like Apopka and Pahokee 🙂 Heck, most of Martin County and Port St. Lucie is probably about to secede from the Union. And I have a friend in Chiiiipley who can probably match your deepest drawl, Miss ‘Bama…

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  May 20, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Yew ahr soh kul, Tahp-wrahter!

    **Although, I must disagree about Florida — even considering Pahokee. Being a hick doesn’t make you a Southerner — or the other way around 😉

  • 3. Type Writer  |  May 20, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    > Yew ahr soh kul, Tahp-wrahter!

    Not as cool as you, Cookie… But between your blog and girlofwords, I get plenty of props these days…

    >Although, I must disagree about Florida — even considering Pahokee.

    So no amount of boiled peanuts, Confederate history or stolen Alabama coastline will help FL qualify? I’m sensing some SEC hatin’ going on 🙂

    > Being a hick doesn’t make you a Southerner — or the other way around

    Far be it from me to impugn Southern culture, since as a writer I know that most of the best American writers are Southern. And every state has their share of hicks. So what does that mean for a Barack candidacy?


  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  May 21, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    He won the Alabama Democratic Primary (theirs counted) but I don’t know if he can topple McCain there. Should be interesting!

Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.

%d bloggers like this: