Bad government employee pardons bad government employee

March 26, 2008 at 1:25 pm 5 comments

US Mail Carrier Postal ServiceAlways with an eye toward addressing the most pressing issues facing our great nation, George W. Bush spent yesterday not pondering the atrocities of 4,000 US dead in Iraq; not meeting with Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke to talk about how to get a pulse out of the tanking economy; not fretting his l’il ol’ head about the gigantic collapsing Antarctic ice shelf …

No, no. The prez was far too busy to worry about all that mess ‘cuz there was another mess — a mess of pardonin’ that needed git’n dun! YEEHAW!!!

And topping the list of worthy pardonees was a former US mail carrier convicted of disrupting the US mail service 50 years ago. Big stuff there!

George Francis Bauckham was a 19-year-old USPS newbie back in the day when a bunch of improperly addressed Christmas cards freaked his shit so bad that he stuffed them in a box and left the lot of them for Santa’s elves to handle.

Turns out the gubmint frowns on that kind of lazy-assness and prosecuted Bauckham’s butt, which resulted in a felony conviction that haunted him until the magical day of March 25, 2008 when our president another shitty government employee said ‘hey dude — been there, done that. S’cool. Now go play’.

And just like that, your Christmas card to grandma and little Timmy’s letter to Santa lose all past, present and future importance. It’s like they were never eaten by silverfish at all! Woo hoo — score one for lazy letter carriers!

A proud, proud day for Uhmurrikuh!

Entry filed under: blogging, comedy, culture, education, entertainment, family, fun, funny, George Bush, Gossip, government, holiday, humor, life, News, odd, Politics, unbelievable, Uncategorized.

And so it begins … P-DIDN’T!


  • 1. Gregory Scott  |  March 26, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    What a childish writing style. The truth isn’t so one-sided and apparent, unfortunately, and taking such a snide, sarcastic, smart-ass tone makes it clear that the quest for truth is not of paramount concern to you. The truth is not partisan, it can be found in the humanity of all— even you.

    And please don’t bother labeling me as your ideological foe— as an inbred backwoods Bush supporter. (Though I realize my request will be ignored in order to not infringe on your powerful stereotypes and predisposition toward your subjective reality.)

    If you want to know what is actually happening, you must look at everything in as many ways as possible, and endeavor to lose your bias.

    Good luck with that.

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  March 26, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    Will do, Mr. Inbred, backwoods Bush supporter!
    Thanx for caring — and good luck to you and your daughter-wife!

  • 3. Gregory Scott  |  March 28, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    Come on, are you seriously so banal? Or are you sarcastically making a parody of yourself as a self-deprecating joke?

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  March 28, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    I’m as original as they come — today anyway 😉

  • 5. It’s that time again! « Life Is A Cookie  |  November 25, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    […] 25, 2008 Not to be outdone by his Hey Mr. Postman March Pardon-Palooza, outgoing sad-excuse-for-a-world-leader George W. Bush forgave more sinners yesterday when he […]

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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