Big Pimpin’

March 10, 2008 at 9:19 pm 2 comments


Eiot SpitzerSoooo, the governer or New York is a big ol’ whoremonger!

Sure, he may look like a child-toucher, but Eliot Spitzer, who I’m sure will have resigned before I even publish this post, is a card-carrying member of the Emperor’s Club VIP.

Suck it Heidi Fliess!

Spitzer is known as the “sheriff” of Wall Street after making a name for himself as a “crusader” by fighting organized crime and political corruption.

Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it? But never you mind, my man. YOU, sir, are a hustlah, baby! Bitches bettah rekonize!

I thought it was going to be a boring Monday but just like that (figurative finger snap) the Dems are bringing the sexy back!

Seriously kiddies, look at what just the slightest hint of sexual innuendo did for John McCain! And he isn’t even a REAL John! But you are, so work it, Gubnah!

Hell boy, we know high-priced whoring was your only option when the nasties came a’ callin’.  Shhhhh … there there big guy – it’s ok.

  • You are uber-fug and your wife is clearly frigid — you had no other alternative. We get that.
  • Street hookers don’t blend in The Hamptons. They just aren’t discreet – we know!
  • You’re not Southern so your teenage daughters were off-limits (although I bet you’ve scoped their friends, you dawg you).
  • And let’s not kid ourselves about lobbyists — they’re just scuzzbait with a slightly better wardrobe, right Big Mac?

So what now? Three words: Do. Not. Resign.

We are serious, Spitz (what? For $5,500 an hour – you KNOW she did …). You are Mr. Big Swingin’ Dick of New York — clearly a guy who likes to be on top! Now is your chance to truly be the kind of politcian America has been looking for! That rare combination of book learnin’ and groin-based yearnin’ — a man with a penchant for the finer things, a bank account to make it so and the honesty to give a big fuck you to the hypocrites who believe that all politicians should be sexless automatons.

We say embrace your inner Johnny-cum-lately! Share your love of New York AND your passion for clear heels! No more lame ass fiscal reform speeches and campaign flyers — pasties for everyone!

Spitzer 2010: A decade of hustlin’ can’t be wrong!

Entry filed under: blogging, entertainment, funny, Gossip, life, News, Politics, Uncategorized.

Infectiously Cute! Dammit Damita!

2 Comments

  • 1. Rach  |  March 11, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    FUcking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 2. It’s good to be Eliot Spitzer « Life Is A Cookie  |  November 7, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    […] attorney in Manhattan, confirmed that, although his office had found that “on multiple occasions, Mr. Spitzer arranged for women to travel from one state to another state to engage in prostitution” they couldn’t prove it was taxpayer money or campaign cash payin’ for that […]


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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