Best. Diet. EVER!

February 22, 2008 at 11:58 pm 2 comments

Food hamburgers french fries fast food donuts eat   

You’re a fatass. So what. Who cares? Not me! 

The junk in your trunk’s got you in a funk that’s so definitely not crunk … whatever that means! Who cares? Not me! 

Why don’t I care? Because I know an inside secret (shhhh — it’s a secret you’re supposed to be too numb to realize this or remember you’ve heard it …) 

The U.S. Government is here to help us all get skinny-ized!That’s right!Who needs the South Beach Diet or Atkins or Weight Watchers or The Piggy Pilates Program or whatever restriction-is-fun diet is in this week? Not me! Why? Because 2008 is the year we get thin!

 Food whores of the world — UNITE!  See, according to Reuters, it’s going to cost so much just to buy food this year that Americans like me (the working poor) may just get lucky enough to end up like those  ahead-of-their-time dirt-eating Haitians who can’t afford food either! Woo hoo — help is on the way! 

Just when you think you can’t control your craving for that Double Whopper with Cheese — you realize it’s going to cost $54.95 and you only have a ten spot … whew, right because it would have taken ALL of next week to work off those 3,009,570 calories and, you know, we had a long week and all … 

I feel lighter already … Thanks Uncle Sam! 


Entry filed under: blogging, entertainment, fun, Gossip, life, News, Politics, Uncategorized.

John McCain is a sexy bitch And it’s on like Donkey Kong!


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