Oedipus was a motherfucker and other fun facts

June 21, 2011 at 4:08 pm 12 comments


You know how some things just ‘are’ no matter how you want to explain them otherwise?

Like the uncanny behavioral resemblance to our parents we all develop with age.
Or the fact that you just read that and went all ‘Pshuh! Not me!’ on that truth.

Some shit just ‘is’.

Such as …

Pull my finger is funny when your 80-year-old grandfather or 4-year-old nephew do it.
Smell my finger? Not so much.

Women have a better sense of smell than men.
Probably because men want us to smell their finger way too much.

On average a woman has 4 sexual partners in her lifetime.
That she’ll admit.

Tracy Morgan’s a dick.
Nope, that’s it.

A chameleon’s tongue is twice the length of its body.
You just had a sexual thought reading that.

English doesn’t have to be read or written from left to right.
Hebrew is right to left. Period.

The invention of the Chocolate Chip Cookie was an accident.
Mmmmmmmmm!

The Canary Islands were named for dogs.
Hounds of hell, to be precise.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
Pregnant teen? Same.

In England, the Speaker of the House doesn’t speak.
In the U.S., that rule should apply to all Tea Party freaks.

Zsa Zsa’s days are numbered.
Don’t argue. You know it’s true.

Mark Douglas’ ‘Beiber Fever’ is so funny you’ll pee yourself.
Go ahead. Download it. You’ve been warned.

In Florida, it’s illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Key West must be exempt.

My brain is tired.
Your turn!

Entry filed under: blogging, celebrity, comedy, culture, education, family, fun, funny, humor, life, Uncategorized. Tags: .

Did I miss a memo? Oooo! Oooo! I know! I know!

12 Comments

  • 1. Ric  |  June 21, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Cookie, you’ve got way too much time on your hands.

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  June 21, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    I know. I keep thinking I should do something more meaningful with my time, but all that thinking makes me sleepy and that gets in the way of my productivity. ;)

  • 3. writechic  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Florida’s Governor Richard Lynn Scott is just another way of saying Rancid Lynch Trots or Tirt Cocks for short. :-D

    • 4. Ric  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:17 pm

      What a mouth on you! Saying “Governor Scott” in public! Really!! :shock:

      • 5. writechic  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:34 pm

        I know. Voldescott is He-Who-Can-Not-Be-Named. The resemblance really is something.

      • 6. Ric  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:40 pm

        Yeah but Voldescott is actually really evil. He makes the Potter villain look like a sweet guy.

      • 7. writechic  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:44 pm

        I bet Voldescott knows how to make a whore crux.

      • 8. Ric  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:56 pm

        :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

        Yeah, but you know how much they charge to do that? Even he doesn’t have that much cash.

      • 9. Ric  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:57 pm

        Dammitf! My LOL’s broken.

      • 10. Ric  |  June 21, 2011 at 8:58 pm

        So’s my dammit apparently… just not my day.
        :lol:

      • 11. writechic  |  June 21, 2011 at 9:01 pm

        You must of caught a whiff of Voldescott’s finger. Men.

      • 12. Ric  |  June 21, 2011 at 9:07 pm

        Ewwwww! I don’t know how you wimmens stand us. Except for me of course. I’m a prince.


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