We interrupt this blog …

June 22, 2010 at 4:57 pm 18 comments


Remember when John McCain temporarily suspended his presidential campaign to ‘fix the economy’ and then temporarily suspended caring about the economy to participate in a debate with my boyfriend?

Well, this is sort of like that … if you take out all the parts that aren’t, that is.

Yours truly has to temporarily suspend annoying the Sahars and Sahar-supporters of the world, mocking the masses, decrying this New Great Depression (and its casualties), poking fun at political puerility and delivering dumb bitch of the day deliciousness so that I can temporarily annoy a bunch of other people who, like, pay me cash monies for shit and suchlike.

Don’t hate!
MONEY TALKS BITCHES!
But only for a little while ;)

What does this all mean?

It means Ann Coulter can relax.
(by snacking on small children)

It means Sarah Palin can continue the Imawhackjob World Tour-a-palooza.
(TEEBEGGURZZ UNITE!)

It means Jesus freaks everywhere can continue to see the holiest of holies in the unlikeliest of places (and do other nasties in His name).
(Geezus!)

It means Whitney Harding can continue bringing the hotness to make up for the extreme sizzle-deficit caused by … well … you remember.
(Oh delicate flower of supreme womanly elegance – how we do remember you …)

It means this guy can continue his one-man firestorm of fucktardery on ‘da laydeez’.
(barf)

It means Meg Ryan can continue to just absolutely 100% fuck herself UP nine ways to Sunday!
(and that’s no joke!)

It means COLLEGE FOOTBALL RULES!!!! (especially Auburn Football!!!)
(Auburn is the way and the light. Bow to the power!!!)

It means International Whore Day can MUST continue with gusto!
GO WHORES!!!

It means Tara Reid can continue … oh who are we kidding – BOTTOM’S UP BITCH!
(burp)

It means The Cookie’s game plan for the next everhowfuckinglong means going global to help manage the metamorphosis that has — albeit temporarily — appropriated her existence.

Entry filed under: blogging, celebrity, comedy, community, crime, culture, election, entertainment, fun, funny, Gossip, government, health, holiday, humor, John McCain, life, neighborhood, News, odd, photography, Politics, poverty, reporting, Sports. Tags: .

NO! GET AWAY!!! MARK IT!

18 Comments

  • 1. writechic  |  June 22, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    For how long, twit?

  • 2. thecookie  |  June 23, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    hopefully not too long at all!!

  • 3. 0whole1  |  August 5, 2010 at 3:28 am

    Dude. Withdrawal and sh*t.

  • 4. writechic  |  August 23, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    Seriously. Cookie needs to bring the awesome back. :-D

  • 5. lifeisacookie  |  August 25, 2010 at 10:49 am

    I’m workin’ on it! For SERIOUS!!!

    • 6. writechic  |  September 5, 2010 at 3:04 pm

      Auburn, Auburn, Auburn. Does that help? :-D

  • 7. lifeisacookie  |  September 7, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    YES!!!!!!

    • 8. writechic  |  September 9, 2010 at 6:53 pm

      OMG, have you made your millions yet? Shit. I’m lookiing forward to the awesomeness of you forsaking your hobo life and getting money so you can make me laugh again. ;-)

  • 9. 0whole1  |  September 8, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    Tick-tock, Clarice.

    • 10. writechic  |  September 8, 2010 at 11:25 pm

      You’re awesome with the scary shit, Owl Hole. Bwaha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

      (I know you hate that.) :twisted:

      • 11. 0whole1  |  September 8, 2010 at 11:55 pm

        “Owl hole”, always with the “owl hole”. I am in no way named for some raptor’s caboose.

        In. No. Way.

        (Please watch out for the pellets as you leave.)

  • 12. writechic  |  September 12, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    So. Auburn won and shit. :-)

  • 13. springdaddy  |  September 15, 2010 at 10:07 am

    Oh your greatness, Cookie-rella!! Please don’t leave the peeps hanging like the laundry on a line in the suburbs of sharttown…. We need your exhale of mindful smartypantstastic words, and your love for all things Auburn football!!
    Oh, and I was just talking to that ho-bag Ponchita the other day about how she needs to be more empathetic like you and Writechic…..LOL!!!
    Miss ya ;)

    • 14. writechic  |  September 16, 2010 at 2:22 am

      springdaddy, your comment had me proudly giggling off and on all day about my own assholiness. :lol:

  • 15. lifeisacookie  |  September 17, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    You guys are cracking me UP!

    Tell the ho-bag to get it in gear and be just a weensy-bit patient while I work to appease The Man … and by appease The Man I mean get that fucker of my fucking ASS and approve everything I put before him so I can get it off my plate and get back to slingin’ the snark!

    • 16. writechic  |  September 17, 2010 at 5:52 pm

      You and your insatiable need for money. TBFW. (Too bourgeoisie for words).
      :mrgreen:

  • 17. Ric  |  October 18, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    Damn, nobody even told me you were gone! I knew something was missing from my misbegotten life. Welcome back. (You coulda sent a postcard?)

  • 18. writechicpress  |  October 25, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    OMG. Auburn is kicking ass, and what do we get from Cookie?

    Crickets!


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