Grave mistake
November 3, 2009
What in funkified fucky-times hell is going on in South Carolina!?
If it’s not their hornytoad hypocrit of a governor out there gettin’ his ‘hike’ on, it’s idiot employees in their attorney general’s office out there gettin’ their creepily, kinked up copulation on!
Meet Roland Corning. —–>
Corning likes to spend quiet evenings in South Cackalackee cemeteries with 18-year-old strippers, a shitload of sex toys, some Viagra for good measure and a whole lotta ‘It’s OK, officer. See my official AG’s office badge!? You can go now.’ when the popo come poking around his perverse little playground.
::: Bow Chicka Bow EWWWWW!!! :::
But frealz – looking at Corning, I totally get why he goes for God’s acre as his pickup joint of choice. The competition is DEAD, yo!
Oh, but we I shouldn’t judge.
HAHAHAHAHA – that’s a joke.
Of COURSE I should!
But no.
I mean, after all – it’s not just his playground.
Palmetto Staters firmly flathand the ‘go for sex’ switch straight away – as long as they can get their ass grabbery on in a graveyard, that is!
::: Statewide Romance FAIL :::
And, lest you think otherwise – Corning wasn’t there just to fornicate around the flat and the festering.
Noooo. That was just his hoped-for outcum.
See, according to the police report, that sick slut says he always carries Viagra and sex toys, you know, “just in case.”
Because, well, shyeaaahh!
WHO DOESN’T, right?
::: uhhhh, most everyone?!? :::
Oh but this is too delish!
And South Carolina better watch out!
If it’s not careful it may just overtake Florida and Alabama as the kookiliciously cretinified capitals of America!
(Don’t feel left out Texas! Your crazyass cheerleaders earned you a permanent honorable mention in that category ages ago!)
Entry Filed under: Gossip, News, Politics, blogging, celebrity, comedy, community, culture, fun, funny, government, humor, law enforcement, life, media, neighborhood, odd, reporting. Tags: cemeteryg, crazy, dumbass, freak, kinky, kooky, mark sanford, News, people, random, raveyard, roland corning, sex, sick, south carolina, stupid, thoughts, twisted, Viagra.
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1.
writechic | November 4, 2009 at 12:27 am
Puts a new twist on “stiff,” eh? Coughin’ with wood. Petting Cemetery. Rattlin’ boners. Idk.
Enough to make the dead roll over in their graves, by God.
2.
lifeisacookie | November 4, 2009 at 1:09 am
Oh man — so good – wish I’d used those!!!
3.
writechic | November 4, 2009 at 3:04 am
You’re so much better than me. That’s why I’m here. Learning from the Cookie.
4.
lifeisacookie | November 5, 2009 at 2:27 am
Step AWAY from the sniffy snax, WriteChic!!! They’re confabulating your noggin!