Dumb Bitch AND *bonus* Dumb Fuck of the Day

July 6, 2009 at 2:56 pm 2 comments


While you were busy with normal Fourth of July customs (like eating barbecue and corn-on-the-cob and dressing the fam in various and sundry American Flag paraphernalia and giving your 8-year-old a fiery handheld pyrotechnic device to play with) two twits in Tampa were busy going crackhead crazy as their preferred method of quality family holiday fun.

<— James Maymi and Virgen Lopez  had a date with —>
dumbass and nothing was gonna get in their way!

Himbecile and the chowdahead had plans for some early morning drag-racing — because helllooooo –  that’s what you do when you drive super-spiffy primo wheelage like a 1990 Acura and a 1988 Honda.
Fuck your Chevy and your souped-up ‘Stang, man! Nothing says badass like a two-decade-old four-door!
Well, not unless it’s a two-decade-old four-door with some supa-foin Safety 1st kiddie seats stapped in!

And aren’t you just shocked to know that’s just how Maymi and Lopez like ‘em!?!

stupididiotThese two plonks were haulin’ behbehs around while they cranked it at about 100 miles per hour down the Courtney Campbell Causeway.
::: I bet those kids were ridin’ REAL dirty after about 80 mph :::

Oh, but then the cops showed up and busted the little pavement party.

Now, it’s just a guess, but I’m thinking dude won the race because, I mean, ok, sure — Lopez was charged with being a dumb fucking crackwhore bitch for racing her hoopty around with a two-year-old in tow – but Maymi plays this shit on a whole other level!
He’ll see your two-year-old and raise you a toddler!
::: Boo-ya! :::

But times have changed and cornering the market on monstrous moronitude doesn’t have quite the caché it used to.
Especially when the meth money runs out.

So, while the DB had enough child support and W.I.C. tickets to make bail, the DF’s gonna be busy makin’ new friends and having romantic jail sexies while he waits for a date with justice.

Ahh, holidays …

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Entry filed under: blogging, comedy, community, crime, culture, entertainment, family, fun, funny, Gossip, holiday, humor, law enforcement, life, News, unbelievable, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Happy Birthday, Bikini!! Git it, grampaw!

2 Comments

  • 1. fkdupdad  |  July 6, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    OMG! That is horrible!

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  July 6, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    isn’t it?!?
    You could add that to your list of messed up parenting tips — which are hilarious, by the way.
    I added you to my blogroll — too funny not to share ;)


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