EXCRETA! EXCRETA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

WARNING: If you live in Florida and spot some oxen, Mary Kay-selling ogress driving a red Jeep through your neighborhood - have a hose handy!

A Fort Pierce woman alleges she was home earlier this week when her doorbell rang. She alleges she looked outside and saw some big ol’ bitch she didn’t know in a Jeep she didn’t recognize blocking the end of her driveway and got all ‘whatevuh!’ before going back to the family room to watch The View.

Some time later, she alleges a friend stopped by and was all ‘Giiiirrrrrrl! You know you got a pile o’ shit ohn yo porch?!?’ so she got all *sniff sniff* ‘Oh hell no she di‘int!!!’

But, hell yes!
She did!
Well … at least according to the police report the pooeee deemed worthy of the wasted time and taxpayer money required to lodge, file and investigate this alleged hot mess.

She told investigators the potent porch package was “overwhelming’ - requiring her to ”clean it as soon as possible.”

Which means ….
::: SURPRISE!:::

There is zero evidence whatsoever or of any kind or at all in any way that any type of crime [other than filing a false report???] took place … OR  that the alleged fatass poopetrator exists anywhere other than the cobwebby vacant hole the victim’s scatterbrain calls home.

CLASSY!!

SOURCE