If you say so
December 19, 2008
“I will fight. I will fight. I will fight until I take my last breath, ” Illinois Governor Rod ‘Grabbyhands” Blagojevich blah blah’d this afternoon to a bunch of people who’ve already requested press credentials for his trial.
“I have done nothing wrong, and I’m not going to quit a job that people hired me to do because of false accusations and a political lynch mob,” he said, his voice raised in an unsuccessful effort to be heard above the gigglefest going on around him.
Hey PRICKS! “Afford me the same rights that you and your children have. The presumption of innocence. The right to defend yourself!” he shrieked.
“I have on my side the most powerful ally there is: the truth.”
::: and several million in undisclosed ‘contributions’ in three separate offshore accounts … :::
“Besides, I have the personal knowledge that I have not done anything wrong,” he concluded before unexpectedly screaming ‘TASTE MY LEAD, BITCHES!!!!’, grabbing the briefcase full of money he’d demanded in exchange for his prepared statement and running for the nearest exit.
Entry Filed under: Gossip, News, Politics, blogging, celebrity, comedy, community, crime, culture, election, entertainment, fun, funny, government, humor, journalism, law enforcement, life, media, neighborhood, newspapers, reporting, unbelievable. Tags: ass, bribe, comedy, corrupt, governor, greedy, guilty, humor, illinois, innocent, internet, investigation, Lego, money, News, payola, people, personal, politician, random, Rod Blagojevich, sarcasm, satire, speech, thoughts.
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1.
MommyCity | December 19, 2008 at 10:26 pm
LMAO – You are the Craig Ferguson of the internet! And I mean that as a compliment. He’s the only reason I stay awake past 9pm. I love your reporting!!!
2.
writechicpress | December 19, 2008 at 11:05 pm
If I could get past the fugly, I’d be totally outraged by the narcissism and avarice.
3.
lifeisacookie | December 20, 2008 at 12:17 am
It’s the hair — kind of stops you dead in your tracks, doesn’t it?
I bet that shit is bulletproof!
4.
writechicpress | December 20, 2008 at 12:33 am
hold on I have to go look at him again
::pause::
It’s also the football field distance between his nose and upper lip. It’s all muppety. Remember when video game graphic technology was applied to Barbie, and Barbie did a creepy aerobics video? Blah-blah-o-vich looks like video game graphics applied to muppets. It ain’t natch’rul
5.
this buddy of mine | December 20, 2008 at 2:52 am
*sniff* how come you don’t visit anymore…I thought we had something special…
I heard him on the news…he reminded me of Johnny Carson
6.
lifeisacookie | December 20, 2008 at 1:53 pm
There is definitely something nether-worldly going on there! And what about that nifty bob-and-weave action he was doing all through that presser?? Did he have to pee or what?
Buddy? Who left you out??? We totally heart you!
7.
Type Writer | December 22, 2008 at 3:13 am
“Who ya gonna believe, me or your lyin’ wiretaps?”
TW
8. I bet THIS wasn’t on his Bucket List! « Life Is A Cookie | February 26, 2009 at 4:34 pm
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